Is A Quiet Life The Real Flex

Five different listeners hit me with the same question, and it’s one people usually whisper instead of asking directly: why don’t I have friends. I answer it head-on, because the truth is I’m not lonely, I’m protective of my peace. I’ve watched too many “friend” situations turn into backstabbing, endless drama, and loyalty tests that cost more than they’re worth. Family comes first for me, and a calm life is not something I’m willing to trade for being popular.

Then we switch gears and read listener letters: a workplace crush on a guy who’s bad news, a question about dating a transgender woman abroad in the Philippines, travel plans back to Manila, advice for starting a podcast, an update on a past workplace situation, and a longer talk on dating coworkers and how jealousy can wreck a good thing fast.

If you enjoy real talk about adult friendships, boundaries, dating advice, and navigating today’s online world, hit subscribe, share the show with someone who needs peace, and leave a review. What’s one boundary you wish you set sooner?

https://www.instagram.com/d6empire357
https://www.instagram.com/thaicon357

https://www.instagram.com/letstalkaboutit357

Transcript

Welcome And What We Are Talking About

SPEAKER_04 3:51

Yes, yes, yes. How y'all doing out there? There's track sounds as far as always that's always a track on me. Name me. Let you approve with us for a little bit. Alright, how y'all doing out there? Y'all good? Y'all having a good week? Good day? Good whatever? I'm I'm good. I am good. I'm gonna welcome you out to the show. I am the icon. The show is called Let's Talk About It. And today, since I was going to do a letter, but I've gotten some emails from some people. I really enjoyed the conversation last week. So I guess we're gonna roll with this one more time this week. And I got some questions from some listeners that may seem a little bit concerned for me, but not really. I mean just some quick questions maybe that they have for me that I want to explain to everybody. I mean I think I've explained this before, but we can get a little bit to more we can get a little bit more in-depth to this conversation for those that are listening to me and for those who want to hear. Um so the crazy thing is I received a letter from five different listeners, and they all had like the same question, not in the same sense, so to speak, but the same kind of genre, and that's the question that they asked me is why I don't have friends. And um and they're kind of one listener even suggested, well, if you don't have friends, then how do you make in this world? And another listener was like, I feel kind of sad for you because you don't have anybody. So we're gonna dive all into this and we're gonna try to get into it. Um I don't have friends. Um and for me it's the way I live my life. I live my life one quarter mile at a time. No, just Nah just joking. That's that's from uh passing infuriates. But no, it's it's good, it's good. Okay, so I first want to say I appreciate the questions and um I appreciate that your concern for me, but I'm okay. I'm good, and the reason why I don't have friends is because it's just the way I choose to live my life. I live my life kind of simple. I um I live it kind of simple because and the listener that asked, like when you were coming up, did you have friends? I had friends, but then I guess as I got older they kind of dwindled out, and I think they kind of dwindled out when I was in my late 20s because I felt that friends would always keep now. This is not to say like all my friends or all the friends that I've had, but there are some friends that I've had that just kept constantly drama and bullshit going. I'm not a drama person, I don't like drama, though I've had my share of drama back in the day. Now, I don't do friends because it seems like friends will let you down quicker than family will let you down, and that's just my take on it. Now, I wasn't a very popular guy in high school, contrary to what some people may believe, that was much more my sisters than it was me, and I didn't really tag along for them for the fame because I had a lot more sisters than I did brothers. Now, I don't have friends, I mean I've had you know when you're when you're when you're a teenager, when you're young, of course you have friends, but as I got older and started figuring out or navigating this thing called life, you know, I kind of figured out that friends will stab you in the back quicker than anybody will, and that's the sad thing about it. Now, I know that some of you guys out there that have friends that are loyal that are good friends, and that's fine. This is just the way I live my life. I live my life because I just don't like the drama, and I think I got enough drama when I was in high school or in middle school, and even with that in mind, I still like I said I'm a lover, I'm not a fighter. I don't really like to mix it up, not unless I really have to. You know, I had a lot of sisters growing up, and they would always fight for me. Now that's probably not maybe a good thing, but I didn't really have to fight anybody. I mean, like I said, I got my ass whooped a few times, and but that's just me. Now, for those that are asked if I'm okay, I'm I'm fine. You know, I choose to live my life this way because my life is peaceful, you know. I can go to work, I can come home, I can see my kids, I can check on the people that I love, and then it's just that, you know, and some people like, well, you know, how do you live such a life if you don't have friends? Okay, I wasn't put on this earth just to please people, I was put on this earth for myself and to live for myself and live a better life for myself. I provide for my family, I provide for my kids, and that's and that's good enough for me, you know. I think with friends, with the friends that I've had when I was coming up, or even when I was in high school, you know, I think I got enough of the the bullshit is when as I said before, I don't really have a lot of male friends, I've had a lot of female friends, and though I was always subjected to um the sensitive needs of a woman, I think that kind of like made me very unpopular with the males because while I would be on the female side of things when when the female was in the right and their dudes were in the wrong, no, I wouldn't dime them out and be like, Oh, this dude, he ain't no good for you, girl. Come on, and you holler at me. No, it was never nothing like that. It was never nothing like that. It was just that if I seen something, then I would kind of kind of hit in, like, you know, I don't know if he's the right one for you, you know. I don't I know, but that's not it's not like it was a I was interested in them because that's just a kind of well some might even think say I was gay. That's like a gay, like a gay friend, but I don't think a really gay friend would do that. I think if you have a friend that is that is true to who you are, and if you see something, you should say something, but not kind of like lean into or get in too much of their business. And I think that's where the problem came with me at was that when I would see something with say if I had a friend and she was dating a guy and I seen the guy with another girl. Well, I kind of would say something, or I would kind of like bring it up, but then it would just blow it back in my face because the guy was thinking, Well, you want my girl, and you just trying to break us up. Well, there wasn't really nothing like that, and so that part of my life I got tired of, and I got I got tired of it real quick, you know, because I don't understand that if somebody's trying to give you some sound advice and you don't have no feelings for this person, but in the end, when you didn't take the advice and you end up getting hurt any damn way, then you want to come back and cry to me about it when I simply try to tell you that this was going to happen, and I'm not the like the guy, I'm not the guy, I'm not the kind of guy to say, like, I like I told you so, because that's not who I am. If I'm telling you something, it's telling you something to make for you to put things in perspective, made for you to sit there and say, Well, oh, he's not good for me. And it like I said, I have no dog in this race. I don't, I don't, but if you're my friend and I see something that's wrong, then I'm gonna try to, you know, probably hint to it, you know, and say, Well, you know, he's not really doing you good. You know, I can't tell you how many times that I've done that, and this shit has just blown up back in my face, and I don't even understand why. Because I didn't have an interest in the females that were my friends, I just had an interest in, you know, make sure that they were happy. And you can be happy, you can be with anybody you want to be with. But if I see something, if you don't want me to say nothing, or hold on, not if you don't want me to say nothing, if you don't want me to have your best interest at heart, then what point is a friend being a friend to you? I don't know. I don't know. I can't tell you how many times that I've come across um female friends of mine that would always say, Well, you know, he's a good man, you know, he's just going through this, he's going through that. That's fine, but why's he gotta go through it with this other female, not you? I don't understand that. There was a friend that I had that she was very beautiful, but she was very dark, and I didn't have an issue with none of that. She would always come to me, well, not always, but she would always come to me and say, Well, this guy that I'm messing with, he only wants to see me at nighttime. He doesn't want to see me during the day, he doesn't want to take me out during the day. But the guy was over her talking to his friends, saying that she wasn't much to look at, but she's good in bed. And I said, when she told me that, she was kind of heartbroken and she was upset about that. And she was like, Well, I don't know what I'm gonna do because I really love him. Are you are you serious? You you really love him? Dude just said you wasn't much to look at, that you were ugly, but you you still want to be with him. So that kept going on, and for the life of me, I couldn't understand why in the hell would you want to be with somebody that doesn't have your best interest at heart. I don't understand it. I didn't get it. It maybe wasn't for me to understand, but I felt a sense of kind of like she was she was kind of desperate. I'm not sure what she was desperate for because she wasn't ugly to me. Now, to me, as I said before, I don't see I don't see any ugliness in women unless it's your attitude and it's the way you behave. That's the only reason you would be ugly. But she was just dark-skinned, she was dark-skinned. I thought she was beautiful, but apparently the guy that she was banging, and this guy would come over every night at like clockwork, like it was like it was a regular nine to five job, no, not an like it was an overnight job, so to speak. He would come over at 12, he'd probably leave at one. And I'm like, what the hell? Why would you even want that? So when it's all said and done, she still chose him over, she put his needs before her needs, so it's like she was like desperate. So that's why I like I don't really have any friends because I know some of us get tired of you know telling our friends that oh well, you know, he's not no good for you, or she's this, she's that, or you know, vice versa. That's me. I'm not gonna keep telling you the same shit like a broken record, and you want to keep going back to the same shit, and you want to keep yourself in drama. That's not the way I live, that's not the way I like to live. So for me, this is the reason why I don't have friends. And then when you when you have friends and they put you in a messed up position, like, okay, let's say, let's say me, I'm not a fighter at all. I'm not, I'm not. But if you go out to, if you if I'm if I'm out with you and you want to run your mouth, don't expect me to jump in because I'm not. I'm not. If you start this shit, you damn sure gonna finish it by yourself. Now I may stand by and watch you get your ass whooped, but I'm not gonna jump in. Because why? This ain't got shit to do with me. You started the jump off, now it's about to jump off. It's about to get hot up here, it's about to get heated. And when that shit happens, then you wanna look at me and you wanna blame me for you getting your ass whooped. No, I've got nothing to do with that. So that's another reason why I don't have friends. And I know you guys might sit there and say, well, maybe it's the crowd of people that you keep. Not really. Not really. Because the friends that I did keep were the calm, cool, collected type of friends. But it's like everybody grew up and everybody was trying to be something that they're not. And everybody's trying to be hard, everybody's trying to act tough, everybody's trying to be like, oh, well, I'm about that life because I got the crew behind me. Oh no, you're gonna be minus one in your crew because I don't get down like that. Now, don't get me wrong, if I see somebody disrespecting like another female apprentice hands on a female, then yes, I'll step in. But don't expect me to jump in because you want to start some shit with somebody and you want everything to jump off and start popping off. That's not me. It's not me. I don't get down like that. So that would be another reason why I don't have friends. But I enjoy my life, I enjoy who I am, who I become, and what I am. I think in this world, the only important thing to me is family. And if I have a good friend, then that friend would be important to me too. But this is just the way I am. You know, you have as I got older and I started seeing, you know, the friends that I did have, they like changed. And I get it, nobody stays the same forever. Nobody. I understand it. But for me, I think it's just that when you are I I guess I I guess I I felt that if I met you back in the day and we were friends, I thought we would still be friends. But we all grow up, we all live, we all learn. And for me it was just different. So though I've seen some friends that I went to high school with, I can't really say they gave a damn about me because I damn sure give a damn about them. But that's just the way my life is, and then but now it's a lot different because oh man, it's just so different. And I get it. Actually, I don't get it, but then again, I don't get it. Because when you have people, when you have friends that's supposed to be your friends, and they turn around and say, well, and then they find a whole group of friends that's living that fast life or that high life, but they can't keep up with that life. Why is that? I don't know. Here's the thing. You can't start from somewhere, you can't be my friend one day, and then next day you want to turn around and change because this person has everything you desire. That's another reason why I don't have friends. I don't desire things like people, like some people in this world desire things. Some people in this world desire uh fancy clothes, fancy cars, um, jewelry or um or materialistic things. That's not me. That's not me. I'm not a materialistic guy. I am when it comes to my electronics, but I don't that's just not me. So I don't get down on all because you know when I was going to school. Let's let's be honest with you. I was I was one of the poor kids, you know. I didn't have the Jordans, I didn't have the flashy gear, I didn't have none of that. But that didn't stop me from being who I was, and I was kind of a class clown. And as I got older and started working, then I started paying for things that you know made sense to me. Now, I wasn't a flashy kind of guy back in high school. I was more concerned about my home life and the things I had in my home than. What was outside of my home, like I had a nice room, I had a king-size water bed, a 32-inch TV, a tube TV. Woohoo, that's the shit back then. I had the surround sound system that would probably just wow, that was off the chain. And I was content with that, you know, because it was mine, I worked for it, I loved it, and I loved doing it. But I don't need to step out of my house and be like all dripped out or you know, iced out or whatever. Because that's not me. Now, I understand that some people in this world need that kind of lifestyle, and that's fine. But if you have that kind of if you want that kind of lifestyle, don't project an image, a fake image, to say that you got this lifestyle. Because that's where things go wrong at. You know, I see too many people that it's all flash, they're all flash and they got nothing to show for. You know, they're out here portraying a lifestyle that they can't even keep up with because they see other people doing it. That's not me. I am a simple basic person. I'm a basic human being. I work two jobs, I have two cars, and I keep a good home for my children. I'm not one of those type of guys that's gonna sit back and just be like, oh well, I need to get this and I need to look good and I need to go out and do this. I'm not a club guy, I'm not a club guy, though I've been to clubs, they're just not for me. Now, I think the problem with today's society is that everything is about show. You know, it's like everybody wants to uh they want to what is that word I'm looking for? They want to try to get the flash, no, not the flash, they want to try to project an image in order to succeed, but the image that they're succeeding in is not an image that they're projecting, if that makes sense. Now, we see countless people on social media that always talk about oh they got money and and that they're getting money, and this is what I tell my kids because my son he said he was gonna be a gamer, you know, he was gonna do straight gaming, but now he's working a regular 95 job. So he's finding out that life is hard, life is not what some people think it is, because when you see this stuff online, half the people online is projecting something that's not even true, they're telling you that you can get money just like this. Look at me, because I got money, I got money. No, these people either have rich parents or they have rich parents, plain and simple. So when I come online, I see people that's working like really doing stuff online, then yes, but let's be real about one thing. Everything you see online is just made for online entertainment, it's called clout chasing. I don't need to do clout chasing. If people want to follow me, if people want to hear what I gotta say, then people can do that. But no way, shape, form, or fashion are you gonna catch me trying to boost myself up in reference to oh, I got money or I'm getting this money, or you're gonna see me flash a bunch of fake prop money on the screen. Yes, it's fake for those that you are listening and that you see this shit as fake. You think these people out there are flashing that kind of money? They are not, it's called prop money, and I can show you, I'll give you a link to where you can get it at online on Amazon 19. No, but real, let's be real though. It's so many people out here that's faking being who they really are instead of just being who you are. It's a lot easier to be yourself than to try to be something that you're not. Because when you're trying to be something that you're not, you're gonna have to keep up with that 10 times harder than what you're actually trying to keep yourself from being yourself. Because I think being yourself is the most easiest thing that anybody can ever do. Now, if you were born into money, that's fine, that's good. There's no jealousy here. I've got no ill will towards anybody who has money or who has a nice house because let's be honest with you, I've lived to these nice houses every day. That does not make me sit back there and think, like, well, damn, how can I get that? No, it doesn't. I am happy for the people that have what they have. Now, how they chose to get it, that's totally their business. But nine times out of ten, most people that I come across are very successful. Do I wish I was a little bit more successful? I do. Am I angry about that? I'm not. Not about not in the least bit. Because I think my life that God has for me is the life that God gave me, and every day I improve myself on my life and doing things that I need to do to make sure my life is good. But I am just not this kind of person that just needs to have any and everything and just flash it on social media. That's just not me. I mean, listen, if you got it, that's fine. Do whatever it is you want to do with to make yourself happy, but that's just not me. Me personally, I'd rather be just a simple ordinary person and to try to have out here and keep up with all these 99 problems. Yes, 99 problems. Because when you're trying to project an image of success, and that image of success is not going well, well, then you get people like on social media that's saying, Well, I was gonna do this, but this is what happens. It is a hard lifestyle to keep up with. Somebody wrote to me the other day and said, What do you think about other uh content creators? I don't think anything about them. I think everybody's trying to I think everybody's doing what they love, everybody's doing what they like to do. Now, the audience that they're trying to get and that they do try to keep, it's a hard audience to keep. And the only reason why I say it's a hard to keep is because you have to keep posting content like almost every damn day. I honestly did not know that there is a lot that goes into being a content creator. A content creator is just somebody who is just oh my gosh, you it's beyond a nine-to-five job, it's more like a 11-hour job because you got to edit your video, you got to go in and cut this part out, you gotta see what this part makes you look good, and then these people have sponsors, you know, like gaming. Gaming, that's the one thing I can't get behind. I can't sit behind a damn screen all damn day because that's not me. I like to go to work, I like to engage with people, I like to. I just like to engage with people. But and there are some content creators I can follow, there's some there's not. I mean there's a lot out there that's doing good, that's just not me. And when I say that's just not me, and I'm talking about the ones that's trying to keep up with the ones that's actually doing it, you know, because there was a one guy that was in here, he was and they do this stuff for like cloud chasing, you know, like the gold digger video. Now, the gold digger video that may have some truth to it. I'm not really sure about that, but and I know there's some women out there that's like that, but I don't know, it's just me. I don't understand why you gotta put these women through this or put yourself to this just to make a few million or not not even a million followers, maybe a few followers a day. I like doing what I do, I like talking to people, I like this podcast, I like engaging with my audience, I like just talking. But because you know, back in our day, when my day, we didn't have this content creator, we didn't have the podcast thing, we just had like a video camera, VHS camera, right? But it's all good though. So, in any event, I like who I am, I am happy with who I am. So, to my listeners, don't worry so much about me. I want you guys to have a good life, have a nice life, and continue to do you. Keep the letters rolling in. You know, I was gonna do this letter, um, but I think I'm gonna wait till probably later to do it because I really want to do this, but I want to keep talking about you know the life, the life that we choose and the life that we live, you know, because there's a lot of things that's going on in this world that is just just changing everything, everything is not the same, and though we want things to stay the same, they're really not gonna be the same. You know, as I said before, I would have never known the world would turn out the way it is today if it weren't for the power of social media. I mean, hell the internet didn't get here till what 93, 95, and we were ecstatic about that, but we never would have known this world would have turned out. We have social media here, we have AI, we have all this shit. I'm not really a big AI fan because so much AI is going on, and so much things is going on online with AI that's just gotten completely ridiculous, you know. It's like I mean, and the crazy thing is some of these people can't even tell the difference from it. I can, but others can't. They think it's real, you know. But I don't know, that's just me. But in any event, like I said, I'm completely fine, I'm completely good. I think that life is what you make of. I think that getting back to who you are and what you can do for yourself in order to be a better you is all that matters. If you're trying to be a content creator, then be that content creator. What makes my show different from others is just that I'm just me and I like reading like letters and you know, I like trying to give people good advice on you know what they can do with their lives. So, but that's all I'm gonna say about that. So, we're going to probably jump into the second half of the show, which is we're gonna read off what I should have done, I think the last podcast, but we're gonna read off some like short, no, they're like short stories, not short stories, short letters from people that I've gotten. And we're gonna try to answer these questions for these people, and here we go. Um, some of these have names, some of them don't. So, uh this is this is from Jocelyn, or she goes by Josie. Hello, icon. My name is Jocelyn, or Josie for short. I've been single for the better part of my life, and though I'm not new to the dating world, I just have some issues that I'm working through. But I'm curious about getting the one my heart desire. There's this guy that I work with who I really like. He's kind of an asshole at times, and though I'm sure he slept with the majority of the women I work with, but I don't care. I want what they have. This is what I'm telling you about, is why I don't have friends. So, my question is how do I get a guy like him? I think he's definitely the one for me. I'm sorry that this is a short letter, but maybe you can give some advice on how I can be with him. First off, Josie, I don't do shit like this. If you want this guy that is an asshole, then you might want to find a way to get him your own damn way. Because this ain't me. I'm not gonna tell you how to get an asshole guy because that asshole guy and what I've seen before is that when it all blows up on you, you guys want somebody to blame. That's not gonna be me. Hell to the no. Why would you want a guy like that? Again, this is the reason this is going back to what I said before. You know, I don't understand it. I don't understand how these guys that are complete asshole get to all the good women, and then the guys that are nice like me don't have nobody. But you know what I'm saying? So that's I don't know. That's that's crazy. That's that's so crazy. That's like a random, I don't know. So, Josie, you and your own on this one. I got no advice for you, but I wish you all the best of luck. Um, I'm pretty sure you might email me and say that this was no help. It's kinda like that show like Hitch, where they say the date doctor my ass, and then the guy goes and sleeps with the girl, and he says date doctor my ass. Well, you're not gonna blame me for this, no. If you want this guy, this is on your own. Next is from Don Vito. Hello, Icon. I am curious if you chat with Lady Boys, and if so, would you date one? I'm curious because this summer I'm going to the Philippines to meet my love. Her name is Angelica. She's 19 and I'm 34. She is from Manila. Wait, what? She's from Manila. Is there a second? Oh, yeah, here it is. Okay. Sorry, no. I'm just tired of the I'm just tired of the fe I'm just tired of people, of the people femboy here, femboys here, or transgender. Everyone is just looking for a bag to see who looks good with who. Hmm. But I want to get your advice on what you think. I've enclosed a picture. Please don't share because I want this to be a surprise to my parents. The question I asked Don Vito is if his parents know that he's dating a transgender. And his answer was yes, they do. Okay, well, Don Vito. Uh, I do talk to transgenders. I don't see any kind of um I don't discriminate. Um I don't discriminate against people. People to me, transgender, whether you're gay, straight, LBG, TQ, plus whatever. I don't discriminate against anybody because I think at the end of the day, they're all people. Now you ask me if I would ever date a lady boy. I don't know. I don't think I would, I don't know. Um honestly, I don't know. Because you say she's from Manila. Um I've met a few in Manila that I thought were actually women, but they were actually lady boys, and they look exactly like women. So I don't really think that I would. Um that's not something that's ever come across the come across my plate, anyway. So I just love women. So but if you are happy with this person, then by all means be happy with her. Um again, I don't see no issues with transgender or lady boys, and I get that you said that um the film boys here are transgender, everyone just trying to look for a bag and see who looks good on who. Well, that's probably maybe, I don't know. But you know, if you're going to manila, you're gonna definitely have your pick of the letter. Um, so while I wish you the best of luck, my advice was to you. The picture that he did send, she's a very beautiful uh young lady. Um so hey, knock yourself out. She's 19 year 34. You want to be happy, be happy. Uh so okay, moving on. Sorry, these are kind of quick, but they don't really give you much to go off of. So I'm trying to get to these the best way I can. Hi Kam, my name is AJ, and I must say that you have a great show, that I enjoy listening to your show. But I wanted to know if you plan on going back to the Philippines, and if so, will you ever do a show from there? It's a good question. Um, uh I am going back to the Philippines. I'll be headed back there in August, August of this year. Um, I thought about doing a show from there, but I don't really like to travel with a bunch of equipment. I might just travel like really light because every time I go, um, I either take like two suitcases plus my carry-on, but I'm just going I wouldn't mind, but I don't know. I never really thought about that. You know, I do take my GoPro cameras and then I do do some shots, and I still haven't uploaded the videos of my first trip to the Philippines. They're just sitting at my computer wanting to know what I'm gonna do with them, but I am going back to the Philippines, going back to Manila. I like the Philippines, it's kind of cool. But yes, I am going back to the Philippines. Okay. This one I don't think really has a name, but well can't attune anyway. Hello, Mr. Icon. I'm a fellow podcaster and I'm just now starting my show. My question is what advice would you have for someone starting to get into podcasting? I've listened to your show, and though your show is good, I think I can do better. I may not have the listeners yet, but I'm sure I can beat you. I asked the guy, whoever this person is for their name and podcast, they said they're still working on it. So, hey, listen. You want to be a podcaster, that's fine. I've got no ill will towards you. Where's like a million one podcast? I'm not sure what your show's gonna be about, but everybody's different, you know? And I appreciate you emailing me and saying that you like my show and that you think you can beat me. That's fine, I've got no problem with that. The more the merrier. But when you establish your show, make sure you establish something good, a good premise or a good base to really draw in your listeners. Um, there was a guy that I was following, his name was Miracle, but he stopped doing his podcast, and I'm not sure why. And I was trying to get in contact with him because I thought his show was good. Though it was only for like 15 minutes long, I thought his show was good, but I haven't heard from him, so I hope he's okay. He was a guy that was in uh I want to say Madagascar, um, but he's not even on my friends list anymore, so I hope he's okay. But for anybody that's looking to start a podcast, do what you gotta do. I mean, if you like talking, if you like being consistent with people or being consistent with your show, then definitely go for it, you know. There's no shame in that. So it's what it is. Uh the next one, hey icon. Have you heard back from that DT worker? And do you know if anything has changed with the situation? I know you're talking about, and um let's just say the situation hasn't quite improved yet. There's still some issues with the DT worker, but she did email me back a while back after she heard the podcast and said that she did quit her job and she went to go look for unemployment, she went to look for employment elsewhere. So hey, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. And this one is from Jessica. Hey icon, my name is Jessica, and I wanted to know if you would ever date someone you work with, and if so, how would you handle the relationship? Is it good or bad? I have a huge crushing a guy at work, a huge crushing a guy at work, but I feel that he really he really hasn't noticed me, particularly because I'm a bit of a nerd. I'm just trying to get him to notice me. You've seen the picture, what do you think of me? What can I do differently than I want to get him to notice me? We chat, we play online at times, but I feel I want more from him, but I'm unsure what I need to do. This is my first time dating a guy that I work with. Okay, well, Miss Jessica. First off, pitcher, wow, yeah, not bad at all. Um I don't know, the way you would get a guy to notice you is just being you. Maybe start a casual conversation. Um guys play online. You said you they said they play online, right? You guys said you guys play online. Um we chat and we play online at times. I don't know if you're talking about games or just you just play online. In any event, if you want to get a guy to notice you just be yourself, don't try to be somebody that you're not, as I said before. Don't try to compare yourself to other people, just be you and continue to do you. Now, me personally, I wouldn't change anything about you. I think you're a very beautiful young lady. Lady. Um the nerdy look is kind of a hot look for some men. So it's definitely a hot look for me. You know, real talk. But in any event, the look that that you have is a good look. Um I would try to say maybe I don't really the whole work relationship thing is not something that I've getting into. I've done in the past and it hasn't really worked out for me. Because when you're dating somebody at work, then there's a tend to be jealousy on both parts. Um and it's not not intentional, but you knowing the fact that you're dating this guy at work is that and there's other females that he has to talk to or whatever, well, that can cause a rift and a kind of jealousy issue between the both of y'all. Now, I'm not saying this as always, but nine times out of ten, that's usually what happens. When you work with somebody and you're dating them, then oh protection kicks in. The jealousy kicks in. Not so much as rage, but because this happened to me before. When I was dating a young lady, um, this is way back in my teenage days, by the way. I was dating a young lady, and I was a manager at a McDonald's. Why is that surprising? I was a manager at a McDonald's, and we started dating. Now I thought nothing of it. I thought, you know, it was all cool, it was all good. Because hey, when you're when you're working, and you know, you you kind of develop feeling for somebody, then you kind of develop them. But anyways, there was this guy who was way taller than me, a lot more handsomer. He had the he had the he had a Ford probe. Oh my god, a probe. You guys remember those cars? He had a Ford Probe, and it was sitting on some some Daytons, 80 spoke Daytons. So he not only had the car, he had the beat, and soon before he was gonna have my girl. Yeah. So Jezie kicked in, and when I say Jelsey kicked in, I always had to know where she was at, even though the restaurant wasn't that damn big, but I had to know where she was at at all times. But then went into the play place, um, and I like followed him, like kind of on some stalkish type shit. It was like, hey, what's going on? Uh we need to get back to work in here. And she and she was like, You're not my boss, we're all managers. Me and him were just checking out the playplace and we're cleaning up, which that's exactly what they were doing. Exactly what they were doing. I just got a little jealous, you know. Couldn't help myself. I got a little jealous. Long story short, I lost her, she went to him. I lost her and she went to him, and yeah, the rest is history. So I don't know if dating somebody that you work with is a good idea unless you're in a different department, and let's say like you're working someplace like a Walmart or a Target or a factory, and you're in a different department where you don't have to see that person, then yes, I would say go for that. But if you work on the same damn floor and you guys are doing the same damn job, and you're like maybe 10 desks away from each other, but you got other people that's kind of in the middle of that, then and he has to talk to these same people that he's been talking to every day, that's where it's gonna kind of start to you know, you may develop some kind of jealousy, or because let's be real honest, I think working with somebody that you're gonna date is probably not a good sign because you're not trying to be sneaky, but let's say, like, if you're dating this person and he says hi to a co-worker of his under no, you know, no kind of bullshit and then just hey, how you doing? Well, you're gonna get mad at that. Like, oh, hey, how you doing, huh? Well, yeah, I work with her. Yeah, we sit, we sit across from it. Our desks are like right next to her, so your desk is right next to hers, huh? So that's where Jesse kicks in. Now, going back to my situation, I was just on some stalking type shit, you know. I was just oh god, I was so young. I was so young and so young and dumb. It was crazy work. But in any event, if you are if you're sure about this guy and that you want to try to be with him, then I'd say go for it. I mean, I'm just letting you know up front if you see that he talks to the same people that you guys that you both work with, if you're in the same department, then I don't want you to be jealous, I don't want you to get upset, I don't want you to get mad. I don't know. But if you guys chat online, might I suggest you guys maybe go out and have some dinner, maybe talk to see if it's the right guy for you, or for he's the right girlfriend, or vice versa, you know what I'm trying to say. You say it's your first time dating a guy that you work with. I mean, clearly you've had relationships before, but it's up to you. Now, me personally, would I ever do that again? Probably not. I worked with my late wife, I worked with girlfriends in the past. Um, none of that ended well. None of it did. You know, when I worked with my wife, God rest her soul. She was just, oh my gosh. She was just so cute. Gosh, she was so beautiful. It's like everybody wanted my girl. You know, everybody wanted who I was with. No, I just joked. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. But no, there was no jealousy because I knew the type of person that my wife was. She didn't take no shit off nobody, and she was kind of a hothead. Like I said, she was half Italian. But before I met my wife, I like I said, when I worked, um, and I dated people that I worked with, it didn't really end so well for me. And the fact that it didn't, I think I kind of learned my lesson. And I was like, I'm not gonna do that shit again. And I didn't, you know. But if this is what you want to do, hey, Miss Jessica. Only thing I can say is just if you trust them enough to date somebody at your workplace, then maybe it'll work. If not, nine times out of ten, either you'll get fired or he'll get fired, or you'll both end up getting fired. Because WordPress romance is not the way to go. There was this guy, oh my god. No, I'm not even gonna share this story because you might even listen to this show. I want this to come back on me. But you know what I'm trying to say. So these were just the people that you know wrote to me and just had quick questions. Now, it's all good, you know. Like I said, um, I think in life what we all want is we all want to be happy, right? We all want to live a good life, we all want to be happy, and I think for some of us, we're still trying to figure out how to navigate this thing we call life. We're all trying to figure out our place in life, but your places in life is what you make of your life. So don't ever think that you need to prove yourself to anybody in order to succeed in this world. Because you're only to succeed because you want yourself to succeed. There's no point of you know trying to go out there and being somebody that you're not, or there's no point of trying to find an asshole boyfriend, which I still understand why this young lady, Miss Josie, want to find an asshole boyfriend. And this is the thing I'm talking about. Excuse me. This is the thing I'm talking about. Why would you want to put yourself through that kind of lifestyle? Why would you want to date somebody like that? I don't understand why bad girls like bad why good girls like bad boys and kind of vice versa, why good men like bad women. I don't get that. To me, that's like shortening your lifespan because you're never gonna be happy. There's always gonna be constant arguments, and always gonna be constant drama. Drama is not who I am, and drama is not what I do. I don't do drama. I like to live in peace. You know, I am 48 years old, and people look at me and say, Well, you're not 48 years old because you don't have any gray hair. Yeah, you're right, I don't. Because I like living a good life, and I think with me not looking as old as I am, that's just me saying, Well, it's the kind of life I live. You know, I like living in peace, I like being happy, I like waking up every day knowing that I have a purpose to go to work. You know, if you have to wake up every day and try to wonder, figure out what the hell you're doing, or who the hell you're with, or what this person's doing with that person, again, that's no way to live. You know? I'm just saying. But in life, we all want a better life, we all want a happy life. We know what we gotta do to get that life, but are we gonna really seize the moment on that life or we're just gonna keep going down that same spiral of a death trap we call a hole? Are we? I don't know. Oh as I get ready to wrap the show up, I want to say thank you for everybody for listening to the show. Thank y'all for tuning in. You know, sorry the show wasn't a little bit more eventful, but that's just a you know, those are some quick questions people have. Um, the next show will be focusing on. I'm not gonna give it away, but let's just say if you want to tune in. Never thought I'd get a letter from Amish person, but 10 to 1. I don't think she's with the Amish people anymore, but hey, whatever. So, as we get ready to take this show out, I'm going to say thank you again for listening. Thank you guys for tuning in. I wish you guys nothing but the best. And if you guys have any question or comment, my social media links are in the description, and they will also be followed through this next track. And yeah, so as for right now, I'm gonna leave you guys with this next track. It's called Through the Gray, it's by Nick Cauchin. I think this is what the menu of the track was of this this whole podcast, but it is what it is. So, you guys have a good day, good night. Till next time, take care of yourself and each other. We'll see you next time.

SPEAKER_01 55:31

You've been listening to Icon with Let's Talk About It. Please follow me on TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook. Thanks for spending time with me today. Always remember. I can't control life, but I can control how I react to it. Stay sharp, and I'll see you soon.

SPEAKER_00 55:50

I refuse to let a bad night ruin me, just doesn't get through to me. Even back then, getting stopped by the truant scene. Poster with the bros and turn the barn into a mutiny. One of them, and then we handled it brutally. Y'all not sick, you got immunity and lack the continuity. I leave them in the dust and stack red. Cause I'm moving things, speed reached a new high. When I started removing things, I had to drop the baggage out the plane before I flew a wing. I let the engine fail. Cold day inhale, I let a pest prevail and put them to the test and let the rest of the scale. Yeah, that'll do it, that'll separate the weak from the real. Getting to it. I did it for the love, for the left, but got no love for what I did. So that's why I'm moving different. Played apart, but sometimes like I'm missing the script. I write my own, cause nobody gonna tell it like it is. Yeah, nobody gon' tell it like it is. Cause nobody gon' tell it like it is. Put me in the game, watchin' make a play, live a life for the day, sun shinin' through the gray. So I'll be showing them the way, live em by death and put my life on this play. Put me in the game, watch them make a play, live a life for the day, sun shining through the gray. With your stay, I'm steamin' up the pot. Got my brother standin' next to me, I'll pass my boys to pop. Put some diamonds in the ring, add some numbers to the stock, let it pop. Goin' storm, what you got, never stop, never ate. What you what you say, I'm steamin' up the pot. Got my brother standin' next to me, I'll pass my boys to pop. Put some diamonds in the stain, add some numbers to the block, let it pop. Go and storm what you got, never stop, never stop.

SPEAKER_03 57:34

Never stop.

SPEAKER_00 57:42

So I'll be starting them away. Livin' bix will put my life on this play. Put me in the game, watchin' make a play. Live a life for the day, sun shining through the gray. So I'll be starting them away. Livin' five step and put my life on the spay. Put me in the game, watchin' make a play. Live a life for the day, sun shining through the day. I'm steeping up the pot. Got my brother standing next to me, I'll pass my boys to rock.

unknown 58:08

Put some comments in the ring.

SPEAKER_00 58:16

Got my brother standing next to me.

unknown 58:18

I've got my boys to rock. Put some comments in the tree.