When A Secret Shatters A Promising Romance

A letter lands in our inbox that won’t let go: six months of slow, tender dating, a romantic night that felt perfect, and a morning reveal that she is transgender. No yelling. No viral video. Just a young man frozen between hurt and humanity, asking what to do next.

This conversation is for anyone navigating identity, consent, and compatibility. It’s a reminder that compassion isn’t surrender and boundaries aren’t hate. If you’ve faced a reveal that rewrote your relationship, you’re not alone—and there’s a way to end well even when you can’t stay. Listen, share with someone who needs a calmer voice, and if this moved you, subscribe and leave a review so more people can find their way back to honest, safer love.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:31

Imagination will make it a lot of the bigger than the bigger.

Reading Jay’s Letter

SPEAKER_01 5:12

How's everybody doing today? Sorry. I'm feeling kind of good right about. Now I know I'm not high. I'm on the radio eye. Ah, I hope everybody's doing well. I'm doing fantastic. Hope everybody's day is going great. Ready to start off a new day and a new chapter in your life. Hope all is well. Cause all is well with me. Weather's great. A little rain in the forecast, but hey, yeah, whatever. We all need rain in our life. A little bit of rain. For the most part, it's gonna be a beautiful week. I'm not the weather man, I'm just pretending like I'm gonna be one. I want to welcome y'all to the show. My name is Derek. I am Endeavour Empire. Welcome y'all to the show. Today's uh a little bit of a different show for me, but it's all good because this show today is in response to a young man that emailed me. Again, I want to thank you to my listeners. I thank you for your emails. I know I like to try to get through most of them during the week, I like to try to answer as much as I can. But I'm a one-man show, so I do this by myself. So I also appreciate you coming to me for just you know my opinion on things. I mean, I know you don't go anywhere else, but you know, I just do it because I'm just me. So it's all good. In any event, this um is a response to a show I did um I think a couple weeks ago, maybe. Um, and I have a listener who is I think he's from the yeah, he's from the states. Not sure what states he's in, but he gave me what printed out to be three pages, probably could have been two front and back, but who knows? It's just a printer doing his work. I'm not complaining. We're gonna get through it, and I am going to try to do my best for you. That brings me to today's show entitled I didn't know she was trans. Now this ain't no shade. Okay, this ain't no fade or nothing like that, so let's not get it twisted. You can email me and say what you want, and if it's sensible, then I'll discuss it. But I'm not bashing the transgender community because I love all people. I don't care what you're uh, what you're made, or what you're made of. So, without further ado, hope you guys got your red diamond tea and your vape. I know I got mine. Hold on, let me hit that for a minute. Hold on. God, these things are so much better that I don't smoke anymore. I used to smoke like a chimney, and it wasn't because it was stressed, it was just because I love to smoke. But I can't smoke weed because I drive a truck, and I love my CDL, but it's all good. Without further ado, let's get it cracking. You know, let's go ahead and read this letter from my boy Jay. Shout out to Jay, y'all. He's in the state somewhere. It's probably a million one J's, but hopefully this podcast finds a response, or my opinion was okay. But here we go. Endeavor Empire. My name is Jay. I know that this is not a topic of yours, but you said we could email with a subject or something that I, the listener, wanted your opinion on.

SPEAKER_00 9:41

Yeah, I did say that.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

Let's let's just get it clear. I did say that. Well, here it goes. I listened to your episode 11. And though I don't have an issue with transgenders, my question is why some never tell you what they are up front. I was dating a girl that I didn't know was transgender. I thought I was being a gentleman by not pressing the issue of sex and that she wanted to wait because of past relationships. And I can respect that because I've had some bad one of those as well. But we've been dating for six months, excuse me, and have not shared anything that is intimate, if you know what I mean. There is the occasional BJ. Um, kids, if you guys listen to this, ask your parents what that is. I'm not gonna tell you. Or if you already know, you already know, whatever. I'm keeping it clean for your show. That is nice, but though by now we would be further along in our romance. I thought that we would now be further long in romance in the phase of our relationship. We would often talk about it, but it would lead to an argument. She would always say that if you love me, you would wait. Again, I definitely understand that. The world today is just so quick to jump into bed with one another to get to know each other. Anyways, let me get back on point. Get back to this letter. I respond suspectfully and asked how long. She said that she didn't want to be hurt like the last relationship that ended violently. She never told me what happened, but only that it was bad. So I didn't want to keep pressing the issue because it would make her cry. And I wasn't trying to do that. I wanted her to know that I really care for her, and wanted her to know that I wasn't that guy. So fast forward a bit in our relationship, was back on great terms, and that started to catch some serious feelings, and felt the love that I've never felt before. And by the way, we don't live together, but I've been to her place and she has been to mine. So she surprised me with a romantic night that I couldn't refuse. It was a romantic evening at her place. I mean, we were talking, champagne, a bed of roses, chocolate. I mean, she really put the work in and the dinner that I thought would be my last. What? Why is that? Oh my gosh. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, guys. Sorry, let's be serious. See back on track. I didn't know that she could really cook, but it felt like Valentine's Day in March. Yeah, definitely. So here's where it went sideways. After the dinner, we talked, danced the night away, listened to old school RB. Yeah, that's that's that's where it's at right there. You know, you get some Barry White going, uh, some Luther, you know, uh some Angela, uh Windbush. Uh man, you got something going there. She has great taste in everything. I didn't want the night to end. She has great taste in everything, and he didn't want the night to end. I'm keeping it clean for your show. We went to the room where two center candles were lit. Man, damn. But you really in were lit. Hold on. Two cinnam candles were lit, but you really couldn't see much. Kind of like in the TV shows that show the woman's body in the shadow, but no nudity. Yeah, that's yeah, yes. I asked if we could dim the lights, and she said she wanted to be this way because she wanted the passion of just feeling the love in the dark. Okay, not sure what that meant, but fine. The night was going well. No need to F it up. Oh shit, I'm loving this letter. Without going any meet any into without going into many details, you probably already know the rest. Yeah, I get an idea. We had the whole night of pleasure, and I had to tell you, it was the best night of my life. Well, that's good. That's good. I like that. But the morning after, I think that she forgot that I was still there because I went to go for round two. Yeah, as well as you should, because that's that's what I do after a great night. I want I want round two in the morning. Come on, y'all. Come on. I'm trying to get this gun.

unknown 14:38

Alright.

SPEAKER_01 14:39

What I thought was a woman, I thought it was a woman to get the fire going again. I discovered that she was a blanking transgender and had real we're gonna say breasts. He said something else. Had real breast. Look at the photo I sent you. Minus the his because I didn't want you to post anything and let them see who I am, but damn, her body is like a woman. How in the loving blank was I a fool? And not trying to be funny, but I see how the last relationship ended in violence, but I didn't do that. I was pissed. I felt like the movie hangover boards. But I'm not a dentist, and I didn't go to bank. No fun intended. Oh shit, you can't make this shit up. I'm sorry, Jay, but it's a good letter. It's I'm gonna get through it. I'll get to it. Alright, here we go. I quickly left and haven't talked to her since. Though she tried to call me and reach out on my socials, but I blocked her. Am I wrong? I have to ask about I have to ask about this with friends, but without saying it was me. Yeah, definitely get that. Um, and open up a can because they say they would open a can of whoop ass. So I'm asking you what to do. Because I don't do violence, and I'm surely not trying to get a hate charge on my record. Sign Jay from the States. Oh, by the way, I'm 25, she's 23, but damn she is cute. Her name is Dallas. Damn, that's that's odd. Yes, that's her real name, Dallas. Oh shit!

SPEAKER_00 16:25

Goodness.

The Reveal And Aftermath

SPEAKER_01 16:27

That was uh that was different. That that that I need to hit this bait. Hold on for a minute, y'all. Hold on. Let's we're gonna get into it. Hold on. Let me get my tea. Hold on, hold on. Alright. When I first read this letter, I didn't know what to make of it. You know, it was in the picture that Jay sent. I mean, my god, I mean, I could make that same mistake that he made. Well, okay, I don't really want to say mistake, but I can make that same assumption. I'm sorry, let's not say mistake, because I don't think they're mistakes. I can make that same assumption and be like, damn, yeah, she's she's hot, she's cute. Very beautiful, very beautiful young lady. I'm probably gonna get a lot of flack off this. I don't give a damn. But the picture is beautiful. Now, Jay, you know who you are. If you choose to go that route and post it, that's up to you. I mean, it sounds like both of you guys really liked each other, but there was just the one issue that was keeping you both together. But the picture is beautiful. Let me be clear, let me be honest. I would have made the same assumption, and though it is hard in this world for people to genuinely come out and say that I'm trans, because we know as a man, we're attracted to the physical appearance of a woman from the outside. You know, we see a woman, we're like, Oh, she's beautiful, and I'm not talking about in a dogish kind of way, not talking about, you know, I'm a dog looking for a bone, I'm talking about she's beautiful, she sounds like somebody I want to get to know. Now, the letter is very well put together because there's a lot of key factors in here that I respect, um, especially you, Jay, and coming from the man's point of view, because usually we know these things can go sideways really quick. I mean, she wanted to wait for sex because of past relationships, and I understand that. And you didn't want to press her about that because you really felt a genuine kind of love for this young lady. So I get that. I mean, I think relationships shouldn't be based off sex, anyways, because I think as human beings, we're so quick to test drive the car, but then when we test drive the car around the block, and we decide uh this isn't what I want, and then we're gonna look for another one. Sorry for the analogy, but that's usually the way it is. We drive the car, but we never check what's up underneath the hood. Not that we want to, because on the outside, she looks good. The outside, she's she's shining, she's glistening, she's oh man, she's like, Yeah, I can see myself with her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I get that, you know, no shame in that. I'm not shaming you any damn way because I think what you said a lot in this letter was uh actually really good. Um, because you were just being a gentleman, and I know for in this world it's a rarity to find such a gentleman because everybody is so quick to judge and to say, hey, if you don't want to give it up on the first date, I ain't got nothing for you. Again, sad, because I wouldn't do that, but here's my opinion on the matter. In Jay's case, it would be really, really hard to tell that this was a transgender female. Really hard. Oh my god, really hard. I mean, I'm gonna describe this picture to y'all. Very beautiful, toned skin, long brown hair. I gotta think she's either I'm speculating, she's either from some kind of Latino, Brazilian, maybe Filipino descent, or maybe just good jeans. I don't know. But sandy brown, curly long hair, um, beautiful, beautiful brown eyes. She's wearing a beautiful sun dress with flowers, nice white sneakers, so I can see how I'm sorry y'all, I cannot post this because I'm gonna do the respectful thing. Now, if Jay decides he wants to, you know, email me back and say, hey man, go ahead and post it because things kind of change, then I will post it. But she's beautiful, she's freaking amazing, and it sounds like the night that you guys had was a night well deserved. It sounds like the love that you found was a love well deserved. Here's where I can tell you why I wouldn't date a transgender. Would I hang out with them? Yes. Can we kick it, play video games, go to a movie, have

SPEAKER_00 22:00

Dinner, yes.

First Reactions And Empathy

SPEAKER_01 22:03

I on the other hand, though I have kids, want two more kids. I ain't old, damn it, so let's not get that twisted. I ain't old, but knowing that with me, that's just me. Again, I would kick it, we'd have fun. Um, if you're thinking friends with benefits, no, because I'm not made that way. That's that's just not my style. Now everything else checks the mark, you know, love or whatever, but to me, if you're not a physical woman, I can't really be with you because that's my that's that that's me. I I at least want two more kids. I love kids, and I know that's something that um she couldn't give me. Now, you guys are both young, so it sounds like that it sounds like that um you guys really kind of fell in love with each other. This is my opinion. If you think that if you think that this is the young lady for you, it's all on how you feel. If you're scared, I understand. Nervous, I get it. I mean, we know this world is not kind, some parts of the country is not kind to transgender people. Me personally, I don't have a problem with them. They are people, they are beautiful people. If this is the life they want to live, who am I to say anything and stand in their way? I pride you, Jay, because you didn't use no kind of violence, you didn't get angry, you didn't lash out, you didn't commence to, as your friends would say, open up a can of whoop ass. Because I know it can be devastating. You know, I personally haven't dated a transgender, but I've known some transgender who's had their hearts broken, and I get it. They want to be accepted in life, and I have no problem accepting them in this life. There's a few things I don't agree with, but I might get to I might get to that later. But I don't know where your relationship has gone from here. I don't know if you've hit a stalemate or if you even feel some kind of type of way because I know that when people say, Oh, you're with the transgender, then you're gay. I I don't I don't know. I don't I don't know. I don't know. I honestly don't know. I mean the body's half and half, but on the inside, still kind of a man or a young man, you know. So though we can alter what's on the outside, on the inside, we're still kind of you know built the way we were built, and it is hard because I I know it's just hard. I mean, you had this night of intimacy that you said was the best night of your life. I mean, obviously, baby girl can cook, huge plus. Um, do I think she should have told you up front? Yeah, yeah, I kinda do. I kinda do. Because I know what your stance is on trench because you said you don't have no problem with him. I mean, that's good. Now, maybe it would have been it went a different way. I don't I don't know. Um, judging by this letter, um, I don't think you're homophobe. Um, I think you really love this young lady and that you really wanted this relationship to thrive. And I hope that you can either have her email me. I would like to get on a phone call and kind of talk about it, but I understand if she doesn't. So I think that this world is not it's not kind, but I know that there are a lot of people, a lot of people that are accepting of transgenders. I personally again don't have any problem with them. I think there are some things that I can't get behind, such as them in women's sports. I can't get behind that. Um, why? Because I think they should be in a league of their own, so to speak. Because it's not fair to the actual women that put in the work for the sport. Now we all know the man has an uh an uh advantage, kind of an upper advantage because of let's just say who they are. But I know this letter is serious, and I know that you're feeling some kind of hurt and you're feeling some kind of pain. I'm sorry, my friend. I hope I can try to relieve some of that pain, but I can't take all the pain away. Honestly, if this happened to somebody I know, I'd probably be saying the same thing. Because you're thinking with your heart, and you're not thinking with the other part of your body, which that's so commendable. Because again, we don't, I'm sorry, not we, the world doesn't get that today. It's usually we see somebody, two seconds later, we have to be in the bed with him. I don't know why that is. I think taking the time to get to know this young lady was very admirable because y'all took six months. Six months. Listen, I've been without sex for a year, okay? Sorry, why passed away, y'all know that, but even I can show some restraint, and you show very good restraint, and there's nothing wrong with that, because it sounds like to me your heart is pure and that you really want what's right for you and what's right for her. And it sounds like waiting a while and you got this feeling, and you had this feeling, I could make jokes, but I'm not about that. I'm not gonna do that because I think you got your heart broken and she got her heart broken. Now, I hope, I hope that I hope that you would maybe unblock her and kind of just talk about it. I'm not saying you have to get back with her, that's totally up to you. I'm saying that unblock her, reach out to her, and if you guys decide to have a sit-down with a coffee, bagel, or tea. I drink tea personally, so if you have tea, you you uh you aces in my book. No, I'm just joking. Kidding. But I think you owe it to each other. I kind of think she owes it more to you for kind of I don't want to say deceive, it's kind of a nasty word, but she did kind of deceive you into thinking that she was a woman. Again, I'm not I'm not mad, and I understand why she did it. Because some of this people in the world is not so not so welcoming. I mean, honestly, if my sons came to me and said they were dating a transgender, I would just let them know what they're in for. Would I love them any less? No, I wouldn't. Would I hate them?

SPEAKER_00 29:58

No, I wouldn't.

SPEAKER_01 29:59

Would I be angry?

SPEAKER_00 30:01

No, I wouldn't.

Boundaries, Desire For Children

SPEAKER_01 30:02

And that's just me. I can be very tolerant of a lot of things. I do want people to be happy. Would it last? I don't know. I um I don't know. But I think I think that you guys owe it to each other to sit down and have a talk and to kind of hear each other out. I'm not saying y'all have to get angry, have a world star or an Instagram video, and what I hope you didn't do, which it doesn't sound like you did, was put it on blast on any of the social media platform, and that's another thing I commend you on because this world is just nasty. People like to see stuff like that, and then kind of get riled and get everybody riled up. I'm glad that you keep your life kind of personal and not in the kind of a social media spotlight for people to see to people to judge or for it to get back to you or get back to her and kind of bash her, so to speak, because of what she did to you. I commend you on that because I wouldn't go that way either. And it sounds like that you both both of your hearts are in the right in the right place because you're both not very vindictive. And I'm not trying to play matchmaker or Dr. Phil, but sitting down and talking about it, maybe it'll give you some kind of absolution and and some kind of closure, and maybe the same for her. Maybe you guys can decide to be friends. I don't know if this is your um if this is the lifestyle that you want, only you can make that decision for yourself. But I'm gonna give you both parts. If you want this decision for yourself, if it's something that your heart truly desires, because of what you had and what you shared, I think you should go for it. On the other hand, if it's not, um, I think you should just let her go. I mean, the thing that I still keep priding myself on reading this letter is that you are not a vindictive person and you don't do the drama, and I know you don't want the charge, but it sounds like you're more than a good man than what some of these other people would experience because someone would just be angry and let their anger take over and then do things that they tend to regret, and that would get them in trouble. I don't think hurting anybody is the answer, I think it is just just rage trying to take over. I think the more answer and the more effective way to get to what you need to know is the communication of the two parties and just saying on how you felt. I'm gonna give it to you like this. This is what I would ask her. I would unblock her and I would say, Hey, if you have time, I would like to meet for a coffee. Maybe we could. I'm sorry, tea. You know, I love tea. You know, if we can meet for tea, maybe go out and have lunch. I would like to discuss some things, and it can be an intimate setting, no pun intended, um, or just a setting of your guys' choosing, but I know if she was trying to reach out to you, she was probably trying to tell you that she was sorry and what is happening, judging by the letter that she wrote that her past relationship didn't end so well. I my opinion is that I think they found out and decided to do the wrong thing by either hitting her or beating her or doing something or putting her on blast or something. I don't know, I don't know. Um, I hope that if you um do that, then under any circumstance, I think you both should hear each other out, and I think you both should be um open to discussion on how you guys can move away from this. And when I say move away from it, either you're moving in a direction towards a relationship or just saying, Hey, I appreciate what you did. It was a great night. You gave me a night that I will never forget, and I'm again no pun intended. Um you gave me a night that I didn't think I could have with any female, because I know it's hard, I know it's hard. It this world is so crazy on how we can't find people that are honest, and Miss Dallas, this is no shade towards you, it really isn't. And I hope that if you're listening to my podcast, you give me a response because I would I want to hear your opinion. If you don't want to do it on the phone, um, I get it. We can do it, you can do it through email. I drop my email in every podcast. But I really would like to get your opinion, your side of the story, and I hope that um you would allow me the opportunity to explain to my listeners on why you did what you did. Am I angry with you? No, no, if I'm gonna bash you, absolutely not. That is not my style, it is not my way. And if you listen to any of my podcasts, um I'd love to hear both sides to the story. Because I think if we get both sides, some will understand it, others will just criticize and think that you're wrong. I just kind of think you were kind of wrong in that way because I know that it's harder for transgenders to date because of who they are, and I know up front, if you tell somebody that I'm transgender, then that kind of throws up a red flag, and you don't then you don't hear from them no more, you don't, and though your heart is in the right place, I think that if you can establish some kind of communication beforehand, because again, what's admirable is that you waited six months, I get that, and then your relationship ended kind of bad, and he didn't even press you for that. Now, I'm not judging you at all, I'm not. I just honestly think if you're transgender and you're listening and you're in a relationship with somebody, but they don't know exactly who you are. I think up front you should tell them it doesn't have to be in a public setting, maybe a park, um, maybe some place with less people. Correction, maybe a place with a lot of people, just in case shit goes sideways. But and I mean that seriously, because we know transgenders get a bad rap. You know, once they tell somebody they're this or they find out, then the first thing people do is rage. They see rage, they see blood, and like, oh no, I'm not I'm not gay, uh, I'm not this, you know, you you turn me gay and this and the other. I don't think you're trying to manipulate anybody into feeling a certain way about you because I think this gentleman, Mr. J really felt a lot, a lot of love for you, and I can tell by this letter that he did. So I think Miss Dallas, if you get the opportunity to hear this, um, I hope you will respond. Because I know you being transgender, because what I see in the world today, especially with these dumbass politicians, you know, they're trying to control people into being who they think they should be, instead of you being who you want to be, or who you should be, or who you need to be. I don't have any stake in that. I don't do politics. I certainly in hell don't get down on trans people. I like people because they're people. It doesn't matter if you're gay, straight, bi. I don't care. It is your lifestyle. I've been around uh gay people. My last boss, which was a few years back, I didn't know he was gay, and we shared a hotel room together because companies don't like to uh give drivers their own room. They want they want to make sure they get every every dollar, every dollar's worth you share in a room. But I didn't know that. But we had I had a conversation with him and he said, I'm gay. And I said, Okay, what's that mean to me? He said, I just want you to know I'm not gonna come on to you. I said, again, not worried, wasn't worried, I'm here to do my job. And that's the way I said it, because I'm not worried about that. I don't think that if you see a transgender or if you see a gay person that it disgusts me, it doesn't. I don't think that I'm like, oh, I don't shouldn't be around him. I know that people in this world fear a lot of shit that they don't understand and what they don't know, so they automatically make assumptions, and it's even worse for these politicians, you know, because they say, Oh, well, we're not gonna do that, we don't condone that, you know, transgender this, transgender that. But then something happens in their family where their child is either trans or gay, and then they start to sing a different tune. So I don't fear anything, I understand or try to understand everything. I try to read about it a lot, and I think what's happening in this world with transgenders or the LGBT community, I think it is just horrible because they're just people who want to live their lives. Now, I do think some of these rages that y'all do is a little bit overboard. I mean, we don't need to have one every damn two months or every week for that matter, but hey, whatever. Again, not judging, not angry. But getting back to Mr. J. I honestly, when I first read this letter, I thought it was just a joke. But I seen the picture that you sent, I seen the picture of both of you guys in the picture, and I gotta say, you both look happy. It looks like you found somebody that you truly love. And I'm not trying to push you towards this situation, but I'm trying to see if your heart is where you want your heart to be. And I'm trying to see, I know that you were hurt in the beginning. I get it. I get it. And I know you're probably gonna ask, well, if this was you, how would you respond? I told you I would have responded. Excuse me. I would have been angry, not angry enough for violence, but I would want to hear Miss Dallas out and figure out why. And then at the end of that conversation, I most likely would tell Miss Dallas, listen, we can be friends, we can go have, I don't drink, but I do drink tea. We can go have dinner sometime. Um, we can have some kind of um outings or nature, whatever the hell it is y'all do. I don't know. Shit, y'all young. I'm down there older. But come over, talk, we can be friends. I got no problem with that. Shit, people still think I'm gay, and they think I'm in the closet, and I'm not even sure why. I guess because I got so many sisters, but clearly I'm not. In any event, if I came out, I'd come out on this podcast, but I'm not gay. But in any event, this that's exactly what I would do. I would unblock her, and we would just sit down and have a conversation. And the conversation is probably not gonna benefit or go in anybody's favor, but at least you would have closure for what has happened, at least you would understand, and I know that you would probably she would probably ask you, Well, if I'd have told you I was trans, would you still would have dated me? Honestly, I mean myself personally, I'd have said no. Because I know what I want. And I know what I want and I know what you can't give me. And yes, there's adoption. I hear a lot of uh trans people adopt, a lot of gay people adopt, and that's fine. I've got no problem with that, because hell, before my late wife passed, we were gonna try to adopt two more because she couldn't have um two more kids. And I get it, and those those are those options. But it's something about me and childbirth and women that makes it just so beautiful for me. It makes every moment worth that. And I know that you can't get that with a transgender. I get that. So I think that when you do this, have a clear head. You don't sound like you're crazy, don't let this one incident turn your life upside down. In life, we all go through heartache, in life, we all go through some kind of disappointment. In life, things happen to us that can't be explained. We fall in love with people that can't be explained. So I don't think this is a time where you need to go all in, or y'all both go on in and try to figure out each other's faults. What she did was wrong. If she's reaching out to you this many times, I guarantee you one of them one of the messages is an apology. I definitely get it. And I know an apology can't make her for the pain or what you suffered, but I think just hearing her out might put your mind at ease. Now, again, I like your reference to the hangover part two, because I love that movie.

unknown 43:59

But

Ethics Of Disclosure

Safety, Stigma, And Acceptance

SPEAKER_01 44:00

Doesn't mean that you're a certain way. It doesn't, I'm sorry, it just doesn't. So you know how you feel, you know what you want. I think that what you feel was a feeling of love that you had for Dallas. I think what you want is that you wanted Dallas. But Dallas couldn't give you everything that you wanted. So I gotta be honest with you. I would not be surprised if you emailed me and you guys said you were doing things differently. Either you were together or you remain friends. I would not be surprised because you both sound genuinely like good people. I mean, listen, I get a lot of letters. A lot of letters. Well, not really a lot. Let's just call it about maybe let's just call it about 10. And that's for a whole week. So it's not like I'm up to my elbows in uh fan mail. But I do get letters. So I wouldn't be surprised if you came back to me and said, you know, Derek, this is what happened. And you can choose to share that with me. That's up to you. Because if you share it with me, you know I'm gonna share it to my list. Because somewhere right now, somebody is going through this, and I know that they can't get the answer that they need through family or friends or psych psychologists or specialists or anything, because it's too much bullshit on the TV telling people like me to hate transgenders like her. And I don't, and I don't. You can say, well, they're not telling you that definitively, but uh, they kind of are because they're trying to do all this, you know, transgender has mental health and mental illness. Okay, the world has mental health and mental illness, otherwise, you wouldn't elect a dumbass asshole president the last four years, and I don't even get down on politics. But these idiots can't seem to get their heads screwed on straight. No pun intended. But I'm not getting into politics because I don't do politics. Just like I said, I didn't do stuff like this, but I felt that this letter that I read was very genuine. I did want to share it with the listeners. I'm not mad that you wrote this letter. I actually welcome this. Listen, just because I don't like something doesn't mean my listeners um I need to deprive my listeners of it. Because I feel that if you're going through this and this is hurting you, there's a way to get that hurt here. And I hope it's not hurting you too bad. I hope it's not to a point where you're going to a dark place because that's not necessary. It's not like this you guys committed a bank robbery or murder. This is just an incident that happened that maybe you didn't want to happen. Um did she deceive you? She kind of did, but I don't think you need to take a stance on her and jump in the next on the next bandwagon talking about you hate transgenders. I don't think you need to do that. And I honestly don't think you would do that. If you choose to share this with somebody in your family, friends, I don't have friends, so I wouldn't have shared none of this shit with them. And it sounds like the friend that you have sounds like they own that bandwagon already. You know, oh, I would own a pecan of whoop ass. I wouldn't. What for? What's it gonna solve? Just your rage, anger, you'll be behind jail. Where most likely, um, depending on the charge you get, which I'm sure would be domestic violence, you'll end up in prisons any damn way, doing some things that I'd rather not say on this podcast. Let's just keep it 100. Let's just keep it real. But I just keep looking at this picture and looking at you guys, man. I'm like, wow, this is a really good looking couple. Really is. Above anything, Jay. When you talk, make sure you have yourself a glass of red diamond tea. Sorry, I push red diamond tea on every damn podcast. This shit is ridiculously good. So I hope y'all both like tea. If I could, I'd send y'all probably a case of that red diamond. Gotta some good tea. Pretty sure you have it where you're at. In any event, excuse me. Um I keep going back to this letter because man, I mean the dinner. The bed of roses, I ain't had that shit since since my late wife, but I just can't get over the fact that what she did for you and the way you guys felt for each other was really genuine. And I don't I'm sure if you have parents, you might have talked to your parents about it. Um, I don't know if they'd be angry or if they'd be upset. Um, judging how young you both are, obviously you don't have any kids. Um, and you're just now navigating this thing called life because you're in your early 20s. So um, but I know this world can be a rough go at it, and I know in your 20s, all 20-year-olds are kind of undecided on how their life should proceed and how it should go and how it should end. Um, there's nothing wrong with that, you know. I think the younger we are, we still haven't fully matured yet until we reach a certain age. Whatever age that is, I have no idea. Uh, I think I matured at 30, real talk. Because I was a hothead at 20. Not really a hothead, so to speak, but certain little stupid things make me mad, but that's probably because I was on the road um driving motor coaches, and we would always get a bad rep any damn way because we would always, you know, do shit, whatever. Not stuff like that. I'm just stuff on the road. Um, but sounds like you don't have any kids. Um to me, this letter was real written, and it sounds like you are on the right track. You both are on the right track. I think you both wish I well, that that doesn't really matter. I was gonna say I wish I knew where you guys met, but I don't think that really matters. Didn't matter to me. Um, what matters is that you um you're a respectful young man and you wanted to keep it 100 and be respectful to her, and that is the way to go. Don't let this one incident deter you from doing the right thing. Now, if you guys decide not to make this work, I don't know how you can proceed with your next relationship. I don't know if this is an incident that you want to tell your uh next significant other. Um, I don't know. Um, it's it's for you to decide because I know that you can't really trust everybody in what they say or what they do, and I know this kind of scares you, or I just don't know if you just want to keep this kind of buried and um take this to the grave with you. But I definitely wouldn't keep this kind of bottled up inside. Um, if you're worried about if this is gonna make you gay, I don't think it is. I honestly don't know, but then again, that's my opinion. I think what you felt for her was very real. I think that what you wanted with her was very real. So it just amazes me how in this world, when we are attracted to someone and they don't turn out who we think they are. Um, and I do think, Miss Dallas, again, I do think you should have kind of told him um what you were about. I mean, it's not a conversation like you just come out, hey, I'm transgender. But if you guys are getting to know each other on a physical, uh mental and an intimate level, I think that should have been probably discussion of conversation. Maybe maybe the second week, yeah. I'm just saying, um, I don't think you really should have waited the six months for this to come out. I think this probably should have been an issue that was already on the table. Because I know when we find somebody, we want to get to know them. We want to get to know what they want in life or who they are. Now, past relationships shouldn't concern anybody because you weren't there for the past relationship unless you know of that person and know of what was happening. Uh, maybe, yeah, I give you that. But if you don't know the person, the past relationships didn't wouldn't to me wouldn't matter. Now, the sexual partners thing that would probably matter because I need to know who I'm going to bed with, plain and simple. Um, I don't want to be, you know, in the bed with somebody that you know is a little bit around the way, so to speak. Uh, keeping it respectful here, because you know that's what we do here on the Endeavor Empire Show. So, as I said again, Jay Dallas, I hope you reach out to the show. Send me an email and let me know what is going on. I really would like to know. Um, I want to know how you're gonna put this to excuse me. I want to know how you're gonna put this to um put this to rest, so to speak. Um, I want to know if you guys reached a decision, if you guys are deciding to kind of let this ride out, no pun attended. Um I'm not doing this on purpose, by the way. I'm just saying this is just the way I talk. So don't make sense. I mean, it's got all the kind of funds in here. I'm not doing that. So I think that I Dallas, I really want to hear what you have to say. And keep in mind, if you email me, I like to be respectful. So if you're angry, I'll let you vent, let you say whatever, but I'm not gonna shade you, I'm not gonna fade you, I'm not gonna disrespect you, I ain't gonna do none of that. Okay, because I've seen your picture, and I'm not about that. I don't think it's for me to put that issue out there and then let my viewers be the judge of it. I mean, they might already email me after I post this any dog on why. I welcome those opinions, but I'm not gonna put your picture out there to blast because that's the kind of person I am. Now I know some would do it because they want to get the the likes, the ratings, uh, the popularity. That's not me. I do this because I love doing it, and I'm really honored that you can come to me and ask me such a question because I don't mind giving my opinion. Now, my opinion may not be the right opinion, but I hope in this case that my opinion would matter to the both of you. And again, you guys do decide to sit down and try to talk it out and move away from it. I would not recommend, I strongly would not recommend you guys bring a friend or a family member. I think it should just be the two of you because we all know you bring a friend, they say they ain't recording it. Yeah, I know these damn camera phones pick up every damn sight and sound and can pick up and bounce in the back taking a dump. Real talk. So I think it should just be the two of you now. If you do want to alert each other on where you're gonna be, but I don't really don't think it's no credible threat. I mean, I don't. I think that you guys are both civilized people and human beings, and I think that you guys can put this to bed too. Damn it, I'm not trying to do that. Listen, I'm not trying to say it like that, but I know you guys want to put this to rest. And I know you want to try to move on from this. I definitely know you do, because both of your hearts are hurting. So again, I would say respectfully, Jay, unblock her. If she starts going sideways, I'd block her. But it doesn't sound like that's what she wants. It sounds like there's an apology in there, and I know there's an apology in there, but let's not play the game blame game when you guys meet. You guys are two adults, and you guys want to try to put some closure behind you. So, yeah, I swear to god, I'm not doing this on purpose. I'm not. So, excuse me. As we get ready to wrap this show up, um, I would love to hear from you. My email address is d6mpire357 at gmail.com. And I honestly hope that the both of you can find common ground on this and let's be adults about this because I know you're both young and I know what the world wants to see. They want to see you go at it, they want to see you post each other and say, Oh, she did what she did was wrong. There was like this one video where um this guy didn't know that the girl he was dating um was transgender, and I mean she was out shopping, and this and another, he put her on blast on the video. Um, I know that's not y'all because they were a little bit older. Um, and you guys uh plus the picture, so duh. But and I thought that that should have been handled, you know, behind closed doors. I don't think if you do something of this magnitude that makes it wrong, that you need to be kind of judged for it. I think there's guidance for it, I think there's a way that it can be done civilized and not in a manner of I need to make you look bad, I need everybody to see you. You know, not like her last relationship that ended very badly. I really would like to know more about that. So, Jay, I appreciate the letter. Miss Dallas, if you're listening, um please feel free to email me. So, you're a very beautiful young lady. Keep doing what you do, Jay. You're a very handsome young man, keep doing what you do. I wish the best to you both. I wish that hopefully in this life it can be better for the both of you. So I hope that this podcast finds you both in peace and comfort, and that you both can be happy. Because that's what I want. I want you both to be happy. And if you can't be happy with each other, then find someone you can be happy with. Miss Dallas, I will say this. Um I know as a young lady your heart is hurting. I know that the world is some places of the world are very nasty. I don't want you to feel discouraged. I don't want you to feel like it's all on you. But if you're honest with yourself about being transgender, you have to be honest with those in which you seek or that you want to be happy with. Don't drag it out. Because when you drag it out, things like this happen. And I thank, thank you, Jay, for not doing Dallas like the last relationship did her. And I keep saying thank you, and I'm gonna say thank you. But Dallas, I think that, like I said, if you want to be honest with yourself about who you are, then you should be honest with the people you come in contact with and the people that you either have feelings for. There's gonna be some rejection, it will, but there's nothing you can do about it. And I don't want you to go down a rabbit hole of depression, I don't want you to go into a rabbit hole of a dark room and feel like this is all your fault and it's all bad. You are who you are because you believe in who you are, don't let anybody or anything take that away from you. So, I will say this, Dallas. Because it sounds like you you chose with your heart, too. And I'm gonna leave it at that. But I know you don't want to tell people right up front. I know you want to see how the relationship develops. I'll give you this. I'll give you this. If there's no kind of intimacy, like um kissing or um foreplay, sort of speak, then I would let it let it uh let the relationship ride out uh for maybe about I would say three weeks to see where you both are at and kind of feel him out on I swear to god I'm not doing this on purpose, kind of feel him out on how he feels about transgenders, and then kind of go from there, but don't get too far on your feelings because I know it's gonna hurt because I know sometimes people say some things and we kind of let the other side come out on us. So, Jay Dallas. Well, I appreciate the letter, and for my listeners, if you have any questions or concerns like Jay did, please feel free to email me, d6empire at 357 at gmail.com. Coming soon, we will be taking um calls, and I would love to have um guests on my podcast to discuss and everything. Though the show is an hour-long show, you don't really have to be on there for an hour. I can send you a link, you can call me, we can get you on, and we can talk about it. Respectfully, respectfully, because you guys know the kind of show that I run. Until next time, my friends, my name is Derek. I am Endeavor Empire. Take care of yourself and each other.