Let's Talk About It

Family Tree? More Like Family Traffic Jam

• Derick

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A love story with sharp corners lands in our inbox: a 28-year-old mom hires a private investigator to track child support, catches feelings, and then discovers he once dated her mother and is tied to her best friend’s pregnancy. What starts as comfort and chemistry turns into a tangle of secrets, court papers, and a rushed engagement that raises more questions than it answers.

If this hit a nerve, tap follow, share with a friend who needs the nudge, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway. Your story might help someone else choose better.

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SPEAKER_00:

How's everybody doing out there? Y'all good? Hopefully everybody's having a good day. No, I am. Hope you guys had a good holiday. I know I did. Want to welcome y'all to the show. The show is called Let's Talk About It. I am the icon. Bit of a weird letter today, but not uh this letter. Made some sense with any gate, it didn't. I don't know what the hell's going on here. So we will just take it as it is and go with it like that. So I'm currently streaming on two platforms, Twitch TV and BuzzCast. So hopefully my audience on Twitch TV can hear me. If not, let me know. Any event. Had a long week, long workful week. Still ain't won a lottery yet. I keep calling the lottery people and they keep getting my damn ticket wrong. Oh my gosh, this shit is getting ridiculous, isn't it? I mean, prices going up everywhere. You know, you can't make an honest living. Seems like the more money you make, the more problems you get with the money. I'd be damned. I mean, I don't know how it is in other countries, but Jesus. Any event, we have a letter coming from Miss Rachel. She is from Arkansas, she's 28, and she is currently what I thought might have been some kind of sick fetish, but as we get to the letter, we will see that maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Who knows? So without further ado, let's get into the show. Let's do this. This letter is entitled Dating My Mom's Ex, which is what I didn't want to call it, but that's what she called it. Because as I get to the ending, you'll just figure out what I wanted to call it. Because clearly this ain't the shit I wanted to call it. But, anyways, this letter's kind of jumping everywhere, it's kind of jumping all over. It's not me, it's Miss Rachel that she wrote. And Miss Rachel, if you're listening, yeah, we're gonna try to get to this letter the best way we possibly can. So, without further ado, oh hold on here. Crap. Jesus. This stuff on my desk. Let's get into it. Okay, so here we go. Hi Khan, my name is Rachel. I'm 28 from Arkansas. I'm a single parent of a three-year-old daughter. I currently move to Birmingham, Alabama, where it seems that where it seems that it has been going well up until a man I met, a man I met that is 40 years old. And yes, I know there's a 20 years age difference, I'm not judging. So he's kind, he's gentle, and it seems that he is just what I've been looking for in a man. Let's be honest, my taste in men haven't been the best, so I decided to upgrade my standard as well as maturity.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

The father of my daughter is a bad boy, and that's what I like. Until you started verbally abusing, um until you started being getting verbally abusive. We were together for three years, and I found out that it's just not just not he's just not the one for me. He doesn't see his daughter and is currently on a child support order. He's currently living in Huntsville, Alabama. That's kinda odd. He lives in Huntsville, Alabama. You're in Birmingham, Alabama. Okay, let's keep it moving. He has a new girlfriend, so yes, I decided to stay close to him because he will take care of his daughter, and I want to know his every move. So I hired a PI in hopes of understanding what he is doing because I want what is owed to our daughter, Bailey, because it's not fair. Okay. Why should I endure in all these child care expenses when I thought we would be a family and have a good life together? But I will continue to make sure my daughter is taken care of by any means necessary. But this is not the reason for the letter. The reason is I met a guy who was currently my PI, and it seems that we've been spending a great deal of time together. And I must say it's he's quite a gentleman. Oh Jesus, here we go. Okay. One night I was feeling down about my whole situation, and I decided to go to his office and literally poured my heart out to him. He listened and he understood what I was going through. Did he though? Did he? I don't know. Did he? He said there are good days and that there are bad days. Which one am I? That is kind of the corniest shit I've ever heard. Which days are you? Good days or bad days? Whatever, let's keep it going. So I told him, All my days are bad, because I have a child that doesn't know her father, and my tastes in men are just horrible. So we said that there are there are brighter days ahead, and that sometimes you have to look for what's right in front of you. That ain't the corniest shit I've ever heard, but that might have worked. So I did. And we started to make out. Well, that was quick, wasn't it? That was quick. So I did. We started to make out before I knew it we were having sex in his office on the couch. I did not know that this is where he lives as well, but it's okay. Really? You didn't know? Really? God, I really like knowing more about this guy. I think he's the one for me, and we started dating, and he's really interested me so much that I started to work part-time, part-time night in his office while he's doing out doing his PI work. Okay, let me stop right here. You started you were working part-time nights in his office while he's out doing PI work. Do PIs even have a nighttime secretary? I don't know. I've never heard of that. I knew a guy that was a PI, but I don't know if he lived in his office. But awkward, I don't know. Whatever, let's keep this thing going. So I thought I would organize some files and I came across some files and some photos, which I was confused about. The picture was of my mother and a file that I'm assuming that she used to do some PI work. I didn't say anything about it until I talked to my mom, which I was careful not to tell her who I was dating, or that I had seen the file. As it turns out, the guy I was dating also dated my mom back in the day. Jesus Lord, this isn't a tingle shit. Um okay. She told me that they dated for a few years and that it ended badly because at that time he wasn't a PI. In my mom's opinion, he was a con man, fake ass wannabe, that easy that could easy sweet talk any woman into what he wanted. I don't see that going anywhere, but okay. So I asked her what happened. How did they meet? She said he was working at a car dealership when they met. He dressed like he owned the place, portrayed himself as an owner, but later found out he was nothing more than a sanitation worker. And he was dressed like that because he had just come from court. Jesus, oh whatever. You know, these letters as I read them, you know, when I first read them, I just can't I can't understand or fathom the the the things that people write. And I'm really gonna try to give my honest opinion about this, but I don't know what I can say or what I can do because my opinions are full of sarcasm and full of just sarcasm. So here we go. Okay, so we're okay. Uh-huh. So I asked her what happened. She said okay, I read that part. Okay. But she didn't care. She thought he was a one, but she told me how he said he didn't have kids, but later found out that he has four kids, and that was the reason for him going to court because his child support is tearing his ass up, as well as it should be. As well as it should be. And she said that he has one away, which is number five, because wait for it, the fifth one is the daughter of my mom's best friend, which was one point, which was one point my bestie, Angela. Yes, you heard that right. So not only did the mother date him, but he currently has a child with the best friend of Miss Rachel, which is Angela. We haven't spoken since high school because he's uh we haven't spoken since high school because she was caught up with my boyfriend and she said that they were just best friends. Wait, hold on. And that she said that they were just best friends, but until the day I s still I don't believe her. Let me read that again. We haven't spoken since high school because she was caught up with my boyfriend, and that she said that we were just just friends, but till this day I still don't believe her. We were close growing up, and that she tried to lie to me and say that they were rehearsing for a school play in the scene that involved a kiss. Okay, I believe that. So I was like, yeah, whatever. Turns out she was telling the truth because the guy I dated is now gay and happily married to his husband. Oh Jesus, and I was not sorry, but because I knew I seen it with my own eyes. So I know that I was making the right decision. Are you out of your damn egg-sucking salamander mind? If your best friend is telling you that it was just a kiss for a rehearsal play, which I can pretty much attest to that, then why not leave it at that? I mean, I'm trying to figure out what indication gave you that she was lying to you. I mean, it was a school play and it was good. I don't understand. Jesus Lord, I don't know. We're gonna get to this later though. But come to find out, the guy that she kissed is gay now and he's happily married to his husband. So yeah, right. So I asked my mom what happened to my best friend Angela, and how did she meet this guy? She said that he was starting his career as a P.I. wanted to hire Angela as his secretary, and that she said that he said that he had a bright future, and they ended up in a hotel sleep together, and that he and that he showed up six months ago, and he asked to marry him, and she said yes. Oh, Jesus. My mom was on fire because Angela is 27 and tried to warn my friend Angela, but Angela didn't care. She wanted a better life, so he promised to give it to her. My mom said Esther, Angela's mom, had called her very pissed off and upset because Ron had broken off. Oh, Lord of mercy, had broken off the engagement because he met someone. And I was thinking, like, this fool met someone is now cheating on me and my best friend. Oh, what the hell is this? What the hell is this letter? He'll write some weird shit to me. We're gonna get through this though. So I didn't say anything because Ron had asked me to marry him, so I said yes, Icon. I'm so excited. And I know that he's the one for me. He told me that he loves me and that he could be the father my daughter never had. You mean the father he's never been to his children?

SPEAKER_02:

Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

So is it wrong to be happy with him? I mean, sure, he has he has had a not so good life, but I feel that we are connected on a level that he understands me. Do you though? Do you? I'm sorry, y'all. I can't get to this letter without making some kind of some kind of sarcastic comments because when I read this, I was like, is this chick serious? What the hell? Here's the other part that got me. I understand that he has a baby on the way, but I'm not sure who the woman is. Really? You don't know? Really, you don't know who the woman is? Oh my god. I haven't asked him anything about his past because it's none of my business. Again, what the hell is your problem? I wanted a fresh start in life because my child father surely doesn't want to be with me, and so I wanted to be happy and married. At what cost did you want to be happy and married? I know this is difficult when he goes back to meet my mom, and I told her that I have a surprise for her when I return in the spring. So, Icon, I need your honest opinion on how I should move forward. I really love him and I know that we were meant to be together. Okay, here are my thoughts before we get to the questions that I asked Miss Angela. Um I don't know if this is real. I don't know if this is some kind of screwed up individual who's clearly clearly has emotional issues or something, but I think this is a yeah, this is a cluster. Ugh. Cluster fuck. A serious clusterfuck. I think she picked the wrong damn title of this letter. The title of this letter should have been A Web of Damn Lies. Real talk. I mean, this is just ridiculous. Who in the hell? Oh my gosh. Gee, this is some shit you won't even see about on the TV or or not really somebody that you I mean, I don't really know this chick, but she's from Arkansas. So, no, that doesn't say a lot about arc and people in Arkansas. Let's not get it twisted because everybody has their own bag of shit, right? They do. Any event, I proceeded to ask Miss Rachel's Rochelle some questions. And here's the question that I had. I said, Do you seriously not understand who the baby mama is? She says, No, I didn't. I'm gonna tell you who the damn baby mama is. It's your bestie, or was your bestie, okay? Because clearly, if this nut said the same shit to you and said the same thing to uh her and they ended up in a hotel, clearly this you guys have no goals in life as to being happy. You want to just and the crazy thing is this guy's like 48 years old and you are 28 and she is 27. So clearly, I'm not sure what where the hell y'all live in Arkansas, but clearly it can't be that damn bad where y'all want to go for the older guy who clearly oh my god, what is this guy's MO? Because I thought at one point in time, I thought that it was just a I thought it was kind of sick because but then she didn't say if they knew this guy from back in the day, so they didn't say if they knew him or if they were um I don't know, because it's kind of weird. How would you date the mother? And then you go from the mother to the best friends to your to the mother's daughter's best friend, which is Angela. I'm trying to figure out how that even happened. In any event, I asked her, have you since spoken to Angela? She said yes. They talked for hours, but spent half of that arguing about what happened in high school. That sounds like that might have been more of you than her. Because I'm pretty sure that conversation probably went like, I've tried to tell you that I wasn't we weren't romantically involved, it was a play, but you didn't want to believe me, so you want to take this kiss and blow it out of proportion, which I think is what your habit is, is that you're blowing something out of proportion that doesn't really seem to fit the mo of your bestie Angela. Because it seems like if you guys have been friends for a very long time, I don't think she would do that to you because she obviously didn't end up with the guy. I mean, gotta admit, she didn't end up with the guy. The guy's not he's married to a man. Hello. And I asked her, was she serious? She said, Yes, why are you asking? I'm asking you that because this damn letter does not make any damn sense to me. You are jumping all over the damn place. You first you are you moved to Birmingham, Alabama, because he is in Huntsville, Alabama. Well, that's only like maybe maybe an hour drive. Maybe. I mean, I've been through both parts of Alabama, Montgomery, Huntsville, uh, Birmingham, and they are not really that far in distance. So you're trying to keep tabs on somebody. Oh, Jesus Christ. I asked her this question too as well, and I asked, Was she pregnant? Because if she was pregnant, that really was gonna throw a whole wretch into the whole damn plans of what I had to say. She said no. I said, Do you plan to have more kids with Ron? She said no, but he wants more, but I told him no because I don't want to be a single mother if this doesn't work out. Really? You don't want to be a single mother if this doesn't work out? Newsflash, you're already a single mother. Because clearly he's not the father. And I'm gonna tell you why he's not the father, because this dumbass has four damn kids, one on the way that he had just came from court, which I'm for which I'm sure was about child support. So, what in the hell are you thinking? This guy, okay, let's get through it. Let's get through it. Are you still together with Mr. Ron? She said, Yes, I really love him. Okay. Have you talked to him about his past? No, but he was summoned, he was served as summons for family court again. Jesus Lord, this guy must be. He's 40 years old. Who the hell needs to tell you to take care of your own damn kids? And you're 48 years old. What is his life? Anyways. Clearly in my mind, there's a lot of red flags. A lot of red flags. I asked her the most important question. Does he live with you? No, he wanted to stay living in separate homes, so I'm good with that. Really? You're good with that? Okay. Alright. Let me give me a drink right quick, we're gonna get through this. So you're fine with him living in the place where he works because you work there as well. He can't be no legit PI. He's got to be playing PI in order for him to either get laid or to find young, attracting, naive women, women as yourself. Because clearly, if it didn't work out with the older woman, which was your mother, and he decided to ground downgrade while you decided to upgrade, clearly this man is not mature as you think he is. I don't think this guy is that mature. I honestly don't. I think this is a guy just he's just a dog looking for a bone, and he's got one girl pregnant, which is 27, he's 48. Oh my gosh. Oh Jesus. And he's got four other kids. I don't even know what the other baby's mamas are or what they're consisting of, but clearly you have some deep-seated rooted issues, and that you should get away from this. The fact that you're dating your mom's ex is a clearly a red flag. You think you're gonna stroll into back to Arkansas with this man on your arm? You are clearly on something. You are clearly on something very bad. And I only say that in a respectful way because what you are doing is I don't know if it's unheard of, but it's unheard of to me. I've never seen this shit before, I've only seen this shit on TV. But never when I thought I'd get somebody that would write to me and say that they're dating their mother's ex. Okay, you're a grown woman, he's a grown man, you're 28, he's 48, 20 year age difference. I was more concerned on I'm really much more concerned on why he has the pictures of your mother. I don't know if this man tried to play this ploy and to say, I don't even know if you knew this guy when he was dating your mom, which in my opinion, I think he did know you. And to me, it's kind of sick. I don't know if how my listeners feel, but to me it's kind of sick because I'm not dating nobody's daughter. Um, that I dated the mother, because that's just sick. The fact that he is dating you and got your best friend pregnant really says not a lot about you and her, you and him. Because clearly, if you two are best friends, and I'm pretty sure I'm almost 100% positive that this man has seen you and your best friend. To me, that's a problem. To me, that's an issue. To me, I can't really say it's pedophilia because you guys are older now and you're both adults. To me, it's just sick. I wouldn't know no I that's like me um scoping out one of my daughter's friends and waiting for them to get older, and then to say, hey, let no hell to the no lord, no, no. I almost threw it from my mouth and got mad. I don't understand how this is going to work because this isn't going to work, because the reason why it's not going to work is because this guy seems like he has a web of lies and you're tangled in that web of lies. And when you're tangled in a web of lies, it's only gonna be more that's gonna come out. I mean, you only know of the four damn kids plus the five that you know of. I'm starting to think who his other baby mamas are. I mean, if he's still going to child support, if he's going to uh court for child support, clearly the kids could be older, they could be, I don't know, uh, because you didn't really say the fact that it doesn't matter is you're not you're not putting your you're not asking all the right questions. You want to let this ride. I wouldn't let none of this shit ride. I would tell your mother, because if your mother tried to tell your best friend not to hook up with him, and clearly she didn't listen, but she got pregnant by the dumbass guy, and then they were engaged to get married, and now you're engaged to get married to him. What does that wedding unlook like? Man, and you guys don't even live together. That's even more because he lives at his his place of business, which is a PI firm. Which hold on. If I can imagine, it's some small little shanty office building not sitting on top of no business, but he's got an open office area space, he's got a sofa. Oh Lord of mercy. I'm trying to figure out what this guy did in life because you said that your mom met this guy as a sanitation worker and he was dressed and he was coming from court. I've never seen a sanitation worker that clean that would come to clean a dealership in a clean suit like that. I wish I'd seen a picture of this because that would have taken me back. But your mom said that clearly he wasn't that she thought he was the one, and now you think he's the one for you. Make that make sense. How do you think this guy's the one for you when this guy's got four of the kids one on the way by your bestie, and he can't even take care of it? You want him to be the father that you want him to be to your daughter? Are you freaking kidding me right now? I mean, seriously, make that shit make sense. Oh my gosh. I am seeing this as a huge red flag. I not only think you should leave this guy, I think you should run back to home to Arkansas to live with your mother and make amends with your best friends because clearly you have some issues where you think that, and I'm sorry if I'm jumping all over the place, but you're blaming your best friend for the loss of your boyfriend, which clearly I don't think that was gonna be her fault. I think it's much more your fault because you took a kiss that was from a high school play too seriously. Let me tell you something. In a high school play, there are some high schools that it is a kiss, and not only is there a kiss that the parents have to be okay about it, the students, which are number one, have to be okay with it. So it's not like they were getting busy on stage and it turned into a whole uh teen porn thing. It was a kiss. I've seen it, I haven't done it, but I was in a play that the main two co-stars or the main stars kissed each other, no big deal. It's a play, and if it got rave reviews on it, big whoopy fucking deal. I don't mean lose my shit here, but this letter is pissing me the hell off because I don't understand how you could sit here and blame everybody but yourself. And if you're blaming others for your downfall, well, clearly you need to take a look in the mirror because clearly this is nobody's fault but yours. Now, I don't know the situation about you and your child's father, and if he moved away to um Huntsville and you're in Birmingham, or I said that right, yeah, did I?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And if he doesn't see his child, and if he's under a court order, then I don't know. I don't know what to tell you. But my suggestion to you is that you need to take a hard look in the mirror because dating your mom's ex says a lot. And I know when your mom, when you decide to bring him home, or that's the other thing I didn't ask. I don't know if he knows your mom. I should have asked that question, that should have been the important question. Well, because if this guy knows who your mother is, but knows you too as well. What does that say? You still want to be with this guy? What the hell is wrong with you? I mean, there's plenty of fish out there in the city, plenty. I mean, so this guy's 48 years old, that's fine, but he is keeping a lot of secrets from you that in the end I think you're gonna get hurt, you're gonna get hurt, you're gonna be pissed off, and you're gonna be right back to square one. Let's face it, you're already a single mother because this child is not his, clearly not his. So, it's not his child. Um, you're talking about he said that he can be the father that he's never been to your daughter. But how in the hell is that possible when he has five other damn kids? Four kids, one on the way. If he's not taking care of these women, I'm trying to pick up what his life is. You must have been gripping through life. If you're 48 years old and you have four kids, man, I really wish I knew how old these kids were. But obviously, he thinks he's some kind of Casanova, some kind of James Bond, some kind of ladies' man, some kind of shit like that. How in the hell is that even possible? Oh my gosh. Never mind the age difference because you're a grown-ass woman. I'd have been a lot more pissed off if you said you were 18 or 17 and he was 48. I'd have been a lot more pissed off about that. But you're in a grown adult, a grown adult who clearly made her way to uh Birmingham, Alabama. Obviously, you have a good paying job or you have a job, and now you have two jobs because you work in his office at night, and I'm trying to figure out what that entails. Oh, honey, I'm home. How was work? Oh, it's good. I mean, Jesus, Lord in mercy. He's the PI, and I'm pretty sure you're not his only damn client. So if he's telling you that he wants to, if he wants you guys to have separate residence, then I can pretty much sure that baby number six is on the way from somewhere, and you're gonna find that out sooner than later. And when you find that out, I'm wondering if you're still gonna love this man because this man clearly knows what he's doing. I would say he's grooming you, but you're a grown-ass woman. And I mean, I know you're not that naive to understand that the child that's on the way is the is the baby of your best friend. I mean, you're clearly not you can't be this naive, you can't be this naive, and you can't be this stupid to sit here and think to say, Well, I don't know who the baby mama is. You know exactly who's the baby mama. If your mom is telling you that he was there six months ago and your best friend ended up pregnant, uh clearly the due date is coming up really soon. So I'm not saying go back and talk to your bestie well your ex-best friend Angela because I'm pretty sure when she finds out that you're dating this guy, she's probably gonna flip a damn litter so it's like this is like family drama that don't even need to be created. But the family drama is already gonna be there because you refuse to accept the truth of the matter is that this man dated your mother, he dated your best friend, now he's dating you. Do you not see what the hell is happening here? Do you not see what's going on here? I mean, clearly, that is a huge ass red flag to me. I mean, shit, y'all might as well be family. I mean, it damn sure seems like you are any damn way. Damn. You got my damn blood boiling, and this ain't even about me. And I'm just trying to figure out that I would never do something like that. I mean, listeners, if you guys, I don't know. I I don't think I would ever do something like that because that's crazy, it's crazy work and it's ridiculous. And honestly, Miss Rachel, I think that you should let this man go. I know you're probably not gonna listen to me because you don't listen to reason anyway, because what you think when people try to tell you something, you think it's probably the best advice that you have for yourself and not what they're telling you. This is gonna come back to hurt you, and it's gonna come back to bite you in the ass so bad that I think you're gonna end up being depressed. I really do. I don't want that for you. I don't I just think you need to be smarter in your decision making. I think if you move to Birmingham for a reason, let it be that reason. You should let I'm I mean, I'm starting to think what you're paying this guy with. I'm sure I hope you're not paying him with sex, but then again, he's your boyfriend, so clearly the focus is off the child's father for now, and the focus is clearly on him because you said you love him. Sweetheart, you're 28 years old, you're still young, you still have a chance at life, you still have a chance to find the one that is meant for you. But if you moved to Birmingham, Alabama, I would probably take that time to get myself together and not worry about what this 40 year 48-year-old man is doing. Thank God that you're not pregnant by him because you are going to be the next victim. And you have a three-year-old. That's the only smart thing you said to me is that you don't want another child right now because you don't want to be a single mother. Again, you are a single mother. You are. I mean, I sure don't think that this guy has any inclination of taking care of his kids, and this can't be just the only job he has. Is he he's a PI. I mean, if he wasn't a PI then, but he's just starting out, I don't think he's making that kind of money. I honestly don't. I think he is just a nickel and dime hustler. I think he is a guy that is down his luck that can probably sweet talk any woman, any younger woman, because I think the older women have probably had enough of his shit. And they said, uh-uh, we ain't drawing, we ain't going this way no more. But the fact that you're getting married to this man is diabolical. It's it's really is Oh man. I don't know what to think about this anymore because it's kind of. I don't know. If my daughters did this, you guys would probably read about it in the news the next day. Even though they're grown adult, they're grown, but it just doesn't make any sense to me how you could date a man that dated your mother. And if it didn't work out during your mother, I would oh my god, I would really challenge you to go back to your mother. And I hope you give me an update on this letter to say, well, this is what happened, you know, this didn't work out. Or I would pray now, hopefully, that you would come to your sense and say that this man is not the man for you. You need to ask this man some serious questions, you need to know about his past. Now, and when I'm talking about his past, the women that he's fathered children with, that he's created these lives with, you already know of one. Let's not play with each other, you already know it's one, and that's your bestie Angela. And if you tell her that you're gonna get married to him again, I can see this argument, I can see this. Your mom, if you didn't even tell your mom, and I'm trying to figure out who are you keeping the secret for? Who are you keeping the secret to? What is this gonna do for you and your family? Because I'm gonna tell you what it's gonna do for your mother, and it's gonna probably break her damn heart, where she's probably gonna get pissed off and mad. She's probably gonna flip the lid. I would definitely flip the lid, I would probably go ham. But I don't know, that's just me. But I think the situation is just a bad situation all the way around. I think that you should just focus on yourself and focus on your child and focus on you being happy and letting somebody come find you. I think the the the problem is today with um with the younger people is that you guys don't want to be alone. I, for the love of you life of me, can't understand why you wouldn't want to be alone, why jump into a relationship this early? Why would you have kids this early if you know you're not ready? Um now I'm not a saint, but I didn't have kids till after I got married. That's just the way I wanted it. Now, my sisters, they had kids before they got married, and they went through a lot of heartache, a lot of trouble, a lot of pain. I don't wish that upon nobody. The problem is with you young people today, y'all think y'all need to have somebody just so you can show people that you're with somebody. But showing somebody that you're with somebody may not all be good because you don't even know the person who you're with. I mean, this person that you're with has a full closet full of skeletons. Full closet. You don't know if these women, I'm gonna say these women are more, but they might be in Arkansas because he just started his PI career. But I don't understand what the problem is if you don't want to be alone, then you're not alone really because you have your daughter. You're upset that you say it's not fair. Well, life is not fair, you know. If you're with this guy for three years, he was verbally abusive, then I'm not even sure how y'all got a child out of this. Maybe some makeup sex, I don't know. But the problem is with today's generation, you guys just don't want to be alone. You guys always want to have somebody on your arm, and you always want to be with somebody, no matter what they're about, it could be good, it could be bad, or it could be somewhere in between. You just don't want to be alone. I don't know what that is. I don't understand what that's I'm alone right now. Now, when my wife died, I was clearly alone, but that didn't give me the right to go out there and start trying to date every woman that I came across or try to sleep with every woman that I came across because that's not who I am, that's not what I'm about. I have morals, I have integrity for myself, and though someone may not think I'm the best looking man that they've ever seen, that's fine, I'm completely good with that. But I'm not gonna lower my standards because I'm alone. I'm not gonna lower my standards to say, well, you know, I just need to get laid. I don't. You know, you young people, y'all want to grow up too damn quick. Y'all don't want to take the time to enjoy life, to live your life, but y'all want to jump into bed with each other. And then when you have a baby, then he's right out the damn door. Or it all goes downhill. It does. I've seen it before. I've yet to see any relationship in this day and age survive when there's a kid in play. I mean, that whole team was. A teen mom show on MTV that was a prime example. Granted, they did it with mostly white folks, but you know, that was clearly a prime example. One girl got hooked on drugs, the other one was I don't know, it was just a it's just it's just a shit show. So in life, being alone is not bad. Being alone is good because that's not only helping you get yourself together, but that's enabling you to do better in life and to set standards and goals for yourself. You know, you have a three-year-old daughter. Think about your three-year-old daughter. Think about what if it was your three-year-old daughter that was let's put the let's okay, hold on, let's do it this way. What if the shoe was on the other foot? What if you were the mother and your daughter was dating this 48-year-old man? How in the hell would you feel if that was your daughter and she kept this secret from you? You would not be happy, you would be pissed. I would be pissed. I mean, I don't know in life. I understand you were attracted to bad boys. I get that, I understand that. But there are not a lot, there's there's not a lot of bad boys in this world. Some portray to be, like your 48-year-old Ron, who clearly think he is God's gift of the world to women, but clearly he is not. So you have to ask yourself these questions. You need to sit down and clearly think about what you're doing. Is it worth it? Is it worth going back home? Is is he even gonna go with you to go back home? I don't think he's going to. You know why? Because I think oh, I I think if he finds out that you and Angela were best friends, which I'm I'm almost certain that I think he might know. I think he might know. I I think he I don't know. I think he might know. The timing of this is too coincidental. The timing of this is just too much to not understand how you cannot put all how you cannot dot the I's and cross the T's on this. I don't understand this, not one damn bit. I don't, I really don't. But clearly, this man has an ulterior motive. I don't know what this motive is, but he's got one young girl and now he's got another one. The only difference is you're not pregnant and she is. What is that even gonna look like? I mean, if he doesn't see his other four kids now, is he gonna see his new child? I don't think he is. I don't I don't know what the problem is with men getting women pregnant, and it's fine that he wanted to, and then uh here's the other thing he was engaged to your best friend, and now you're engaged to him. Jesus, you are if this isn't a pot of shit. I don't know what is because it's all bad, it's really bad. Oh my gosh. This is um this is just ridiculous. Because I say it's ridiculous because it's just a screwed-up situation. The situation is just not gonna help itself, the situation is ultimately not gonna work itself out. The situation is gonna get worse and worse over time because you let it fester this way because of your own selfish needs, and you're selfish in a way that I don't understand why you would be so selfish. I'm not even sure how you even got this way. I'm going back to the best friend because I think the best friend was true and honest to you. But I think you're turning around and you're playing with fire because you're not going to tell your best friend who you're dating, even though the guy that got her pregnant is the guy that you're now dating. It was clearly a deadbeat ass father. A deadbeat ass father. And you say that you love him. Yeah, well, I don't think he loves you. I don't. I think it's just infatuation. I think it's just him getting his rocks off, and he's got a younger, another, another hot young woman instead of taking the time to take care of his other responsibilities. And then the the audacity that he had to tell you that he could be the father to your daughter that she's never had. Somebody smack me, please. So please tell me I'm dreaming. Please tell me. I honestly hope that after you hear this podcast, I want an update. I hopefully you give me an update. And I'm sorry if you think I'm being too hard on you, but clearly, if you haven't told your friends or your mother, which doesn't sound like you said anything to anybody, that you're just trying to put everything together, you have all the signs in front of you, every single freaking sign in front of you. You have everything. Your mother's told you, your bestie's pregnant with with his child. What more do you need to say that I'm not gonna I'm not gonna let this happen to me, or I'm just gonna go on and find somebody else, or I'm just gonna go be alone and take care of my damn daughter. Because you gotta figure out, you know, kids mimic what their parents do, and you don't want that for your child. And I've I'm a firm believer in that because I've seen that before. I've seen my sister-in-law and her daughter, where my sister-in-law thinks her daughter is the most finest thing walking. Yeah, she's light-skinned, she's beautiful, she's got two kids, and she's not even freaking 20. That's that's that's ridiculous. So, women have to be smarter, women have to be, and there are some women, no, no, there are mostly women that are smarter, and I understand that women in this day of age, it's kind of hard to try to find the right man because I feel the same way when I was looking for my um for my happiness. I felt the same way, but you have to give it time, don't be so much in a rush. It is okay to go on dates, it is okay to get to know that person, but you were talking to this guy, and then all of a sudden you guys started making out you and you guys started having sex. Clearly, that was his intention. It was just a matter of time before you got roped in. I'm not sure what he told you about your child's father. I don't know. Some PIs are good, some are not. I only had the pleasure of working with one, and the one that I worked with, he was in the up and up. And then when somebody tried to when one of his customers tried to hit on him, he said, No, ma'am, I don't do that. I don't do that. This is strictly business. And I took him as being a responsible, a responsible man because he didn't um he didn't take advantage of the situation. He wanted to truly help his customers try to find what they needed to know about their spouses, and he did just that. Excuse me, he did just that. So I'm thinking like this guy clearly ain't working you over, but he's working a whole lot of other women over. I'm trying to figure out what did he tell the other women? You know, what did he tell the other women? If he told your friend Angela that he wanted her to come work with him, and now look where she's at. She's still at home. Or I'm thinking she's at home. Didn't really say that neither. I got a feeling I didn't ask all the right questions, but I only asked the questions that I thought would have been relevant to this letter. So I just think it's bad, it's a bad situation. I think you should quickly, quickly get yourself away from it. You can probably sit back and say, Well, what do I know? I don't know anything. You wrote me. You wrote me. I'm giving you my honest opinion. I don't take anything for granted. I don't take any woman for granted. Why would I? You know, I do this podcast, I am I'm in love with a very beautiful woman. I'm married to a very beautiful woman. So why do I need to do that? And I get all kind of offers. All kinds of offers. Do I need to act on them? No, because I'm not made that way. I mean, again, I'm not perfect, I'm not the best man walking this earth. I know I have issues within myself that I work out and I'm gonna continue to work out, but at least I'm not taking advantage of anybody, especially nobody as young as well, shit. Yeah, I know what I'm trying to say. I'm not taking advantage of any of my daughter's friends because that's not who I am, and it doesn't matter if they're older because I've had this happen to me before when I was uh let's see, when I was a bus driver and I stopped driving buses. I think I told you guys a story before, but a few years back or a few might have been 10 years ago, there was a young lady that came up to me and she was like, I remember you, you were my bus driver. I said, Really? And I said, uh, okay. And she said, Well, how are you doing? I said, Are you good? I said, I'm good. How about you? It's like, oh, you know, I'm just here. I said, Are you doing anything? I said, Doing anything like what? I am I'm married. She's like, that's okay. She's like, maybe we can just go have some fun. I said, Didn't you say I used to be a bus driver? No, hell no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. If you have to start the conversation that I knew you as you were my bus driver, I don't think so. Hell to the no. I don't roll like that, I don't do shit like that, and I'm not desperate like that. Because clearly, if it's not me that's saying that, somebody else would have probably acted on that, but that's not who I am. I don't need to oh well, how did you meet this guy? Oh, he was my bus driver. Say what he was your what? No, hell no. Who the hell? I mean, listen. As a man, as a man, that's just who I am. I am not a saint, but I don't like to take advantage of women, and I think any man that takes advantage of a woman's like emotional state or her naivety or whatever, I think it's gonna come back to you. Now, again, I'm not a perfect man, and I don't pretend to be a perfect man. I do this podcast to try to help people and to try to you know maybe give my best advice. I don't make any money off this, I'm not you people send these letters to me, and I get a lot of these letters. So, but I think, Miss Rachel, that you should really start to reevaluate your life. I think you should really try to establish who you are as a young woman and understand that you have a daughter. If your daughter started doing this and she gets of age, how's it gonna make you feel? That's going to piss you off, excuse me, to no point of no return. And then you're gonna have the audacity to throw it up in her face when clearly I'm not sure how long you're gonna let this go on with this guy, but I don't know. I think that um your daughter deserves someone that's going to be there for her. Um, if it's not gonna be her father, I really would like to know what happened to her father. I don't know. I can't pass judgment on this man because I don't know if he moved away to Huntsville and you're in Birmingham, clearly it had to be for a job. I don't think it's for a girl. He might have met the girl when he got there. But Arkansas and Alabama are kind of on the same economy length or something like that. But in any event, I think that you should um definitely have a sit-down with Mr. Ron. I think you should talk to Ron, but most of all, who I think you should talk to is your mother. You should talk to your mother and you should tell your mother what is going on. Is she not gonna be happy? I don't think she is. Why? Because if he wasn't good from your mother, he wasn't good for your best friend, third time's a charm. He ain't gonna be damn good, he's not he's damn sure not gonna be good for you. And that's facts. That's facts. I mean, if you don't think you think you if you think you're not gonna get hurt by this situation, I guarantee you're already gonna be feeling the hurt. Because if you're in his office going through files and you've seen the file on your mother, what does that even say? I mean, you're working part-time in his office, I would get the hell far away from his office. I would move someplace. I don't know, maybe going back home may or may not be an option. I mean, clearly you have your own place, you and your daughter, you followed your child's father out there, but you don't think it's gonna be any kind of reconciliation. Listen, as hard as it is when a when you have a child by a man that you're not married to and you decide that you want to break it off, or you guys are just calling it quits, it hurts, it does, it hurts, but you're not the only one that goes to this. How you get through this is how you just continue to be stronger and how you continue to be a lot better parent towards your daughter. Now, I know we don't want our kids to see us cry or see our kids see us down, but that's life. But you gotta be strong for your daughter, be strong for her and let her understand that there are some men that's gonna be worth it, there are some men that's not gonna be worth it. It is gonna be up to you to teach your daughter how to be that respectful woman because I think that you're respectful, I think that you're just having a rough goal of life, and I think you just I think you've just been hurt, and that this man, you told him what happened, and then next thing you guys know, you guys end up having sex on the couch of his office. Jesus, make that make sense. It's kind of awkward because it's awkward because I don't know if you guys even still have the same damn couch. Thank god I don't know where your office is at because I'd probably put that shit on blast, but I'm not gonna do that because that's not who I am, but that's just disgusting. But you are in his office almost if not every day, and you have to look at the place where he lives where you guys have sex at but that you work at. Is that good for you or is that I don't know what the hell is that? I don't I don't understand it, I don't get it. I mean, why would you want to go back to a place where you guys had sex and you guys have he has customers coming in and you're hearing these customers? I honestly don't think this guy is like a full a full PI. I think he is just someone who is just trying to get his rocks off, basically. I think that because you don't say if he's as if he's just starting out, which clearly that's what I think he's doing. I think and he was a sanitation worker. I'm trying to figure out how he got into the whole PI thing. I don't know. This is just weird to me. But in any event, Miss Rachel, again, I would challenge you to get to talk to your mother. I want you guys to have a serious heart to heart. I want you guys to talk. I would also encourage you to, after you talk to your mother, to reach out to your your ex-best friend, Angela, because you have it harder, she's gonna have it the hardest. Because if you decide to stay with this man, that's gonna bring a lot of heartache. Knowing that you know that he is the child's father, because you didn't say that your friend Angela was that way, but I don't even think she's that way. I just think she's a young lady that got caught up in a moment and then got taken advantage of, and I think that's very sad. So I want you to apologize to her. You should damn sure apologize to your mother, and then I think you should break it off with Mr. Ron. Actually, let's do it in this order. You should break it off with Mr. Ron, you should talk to your mother, then you should talk to Angela in that order. And if you don't think you can do that, then Miss Rachel, you're not the strongest woman that I thought you were. Because clearly, you're gonna break a lot of hearts. And if some relationships are definitely gonna end, starting with you and your mother. So, if your mom thought this man was a fake ass con man, then clearly you should see what's right in front of you. And the fact that he used those corny ass lines are just ridiculous. So, as I get ready to close the show out, I want you to let your heart do the thinking. Use your heart, use your intuition. I know, I know that since you've emailed me, I know that you are having some serious doubts. I know that you are thinking and that your mind is on overload because you're trying to figure out who this woman is. I'm telling you who this woman is, and if he says otherwise, he's lying. And if he does say that's not her, then tell him to take a blood test. Because it doesn't make any sense. Six months ago, that's that's that's and I think she might be getting ready to be due to have this baby. I don't know. I don't know, but I would talk to Ron. And if Ron doesn't want to tell you about his past, and if he wants to start blaming other women for his downfall in life, I don't want to say you two deserve each other because I don't think you I don't think he deserves you. I think you deserve better. But I think that you shouldn't be so quick to judge a book by its cover. And I think you shouldn't just take one side of the story, and if you've seen something with your own eyes, some things ain't always what they seen. You know, like you said, this was a play. And I can't really keep going back to this damn high school play, but I think your bestie Angela, if you guys were close coming up in age, which I'm sure you were, and I think you missed that. I clearly think y'all should get back together, like as best friends, because I think she's gonna need the support of her best friend, just like you're gonna need the support of your mother. So, I know the shit has really hit the fan, and I know it's gonna hit the fan, but it doesn't have to be a lot of shit that's gonna hit the fan. You know, you could say, Well, I got something to tell you. You know, I can talk. It sounds like your mother's a really reasonable woman. I don't know her, I don't know you. I'm just going by what this letter is saying. It sounds like that you want to bring this guy home knowing what you know is gonna happen. I don't know if it's gonna be a good thing or she's gonna be a future suspect in this untimely murder. I don't know. Because what I can tell you is that if your mother was hurt by this man, you're damn sure gonna be hurt by this man. The fact that you're dating your mom's ex is ridiculous. It's just doesn't sit well with me. I can't even fathom that. I can't. I mean, I know your friend Angela has had a relationship with him, but she kind of gets a pass because you two don't even know that he doesn't even tell you that he's dating you or that he dated Angela. You had to find that out from your mother. And the fact that Angela's mother, Miss Esther, called your mother pissed off because she's not getting married now. What do you think's gonna happen when they find out that you're gonna get married to him? I I I would say, hey, I hope, I really hope and hope and think that you think about this. I really do. I really hope and think that you just oh my gosh, just say no, this ain't for me. So Miss Rachel, Miss Um Being. A single parent is not that bad. It's just gonna make you a stronger person. But you don't need the help of a man to be a stronger woman because you're already a stronger woman. Women are the most strongest women on the face of this earth. They put up with a lot of shit. And there's no way in hell you should be putting up with the shit that you're putting up with because you want to be happy. Don't be selfish. Think about your daughter. Think about your mother. Think about your best friend. But most of all, think about you. Think about how your life can be a lot more better without this bullshit in your life. Because you don't need this. This is not what you this is not what you're destined for. If you're worried about being with somebody, trust me and believe me, somebody's going to come along for you. Somebody better, somebody much more qualified, somebody that's going to make you happy, that's going to love you and your daughter. So as I get ready to close the show, I don't want to say thank you for listening. Thank you for my followers. Thank you for the letters. If you guys have any questions, concerns, comment, or you just want to talk about it, y'all know what to do. D6Mpire357 at gmail.com. Now I know I missed a deadline last week of releasing the show, but I'll be back on track this week. This week was kind of hectic. Lord was hectic. Sister had to move. But you know, we're good. We're good now. Back on track. I am on TikTok IG. Link is always in the description. I'm on BuzzCast. Keep thinking these two ain't the same, but they are. So, until next time, my friends. I hope you guys have a great week, have a great day. Unfortunately, I gotta get ready for work. Gotta get this job thing going. You know, but this don't pay the bill, you know. I don't know. I can't really sit on a computer all day and talk unless people really want to talk to me. But I do want to say thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for the emails, thank you five for the support, and thank you to my haters as well. Because without you, none of this is possible. The hell it ain't. I'll still keep doing it because my haters don't like me, but it's all good though. You know, I don't look at life as people who want to see me fail. You know, if you want to see me fail, then hey, keep rooting. Maybe eventually it won't happen. So, but that much energy you put into me failing, ah, that's just you having a horrible day. But I still wish the best for you. I wish nothing for the best for anybody who listens to a show. So, in any event, but want to say thank you guys for listening. Thank you for the support that you guys are showing me. Again, you can follow me on all my socials if you want to. It's up to you, don't really have to. Or just keep supporting me. In any event, we're gonna leave you guys with this next track. Uh, Toby Trainer, Trentner. It's called Expelled From School. Awkward. It's just a track, I don't know. You know, it's what it is. So, until next time, my friends, I will holler at y'all later.