Let's Talk About It

Foreign Love, Local Lessons

• Derick

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We read MJ’s letter about paying his way through bad dates in the U.S., then weighing a flood of attention from Filipino Cupid. We share hard-won rules for vetting abroad, spending smart, spotting red flags, and choosing a path that protects your heart and your wallet.

• why money-led dating backfires and how to set pace
• how to vet online matches with simple, consistent checks
• practical safety tips for Cebu travel and meetups
• cultural context in the Philippines and family expectations
• red flags: visa talk, gift-for-intimacy, story gaps
• green flags: steady contact, no asks, public meets
• budgeting rules: cards over cash, hotel safe, daily caps
• choosing depth over volume and building a shortlist
• boundaries with family support vs long-term obligations
• planning for honesty about kids, commitment, and timeline

Episodes drop every Wednesday. Follow on Amazon, Spotify, iTunes, and YouTube. Email your letters to d6mpire357@gmail.com. Find us on IG and TikTok @IamIcon.


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SPEAKER_00:

Well, you're in his mind, a man that is admired, fun, compassionate, understanding, and very sarcastic. But hey, that's who he is. The advice can either be good or misunderstood, but he does become experienced. So stick back, listen up, volume up, and let's talk about it.

SPEAKER_02:

Before we get started. Sometimes you just gotta let that groove. We don't get started here. Oh man, you gotta love days like this, right? Sit back, chill. Yes, yes. Alright, well, how's everybody doing out there? Everybody, we doing alright, we doing good. Yes, yes, here we go. I'm the icon. Welcome to the show. The show is called Let's Talk About It. We're here. We have letters from just random people who just want my advice or opinions on any and everything they sent to me. I'm not a licensed therapist. I sometimes give good advice, or just sometimes I just give advice. So if you follow me, you know that you can stream my podcast anywhere you stream podcasts Amazon, Spotify, iTunes, YouTube. You can follow me on TikTok, IG, for the most part. Here we go. Let's get started, shall we? Hope everybody's having a great day today, because I'm having a fantastic day. Oh man, you gotta love that. Love the vibes. That's all good though. In any event. I have a letter here from Mr. Mike J. Hold on, notifications going off. Uh Mr. Mike J or BKA MJ. So, without further ado, here we go. Let's get this started, shall we? Icon. My name is Mike J. I don't really know your show, but a friend of mine listens and it seems and he seems to enjoy your content. So I figured what the hell? He turned me on to your show, and I listened to about one of your episodes about having a long distance relationship and decided to give it a try. So here's my problem. My relationship here in the US is just bad, and I think it's because I have too much to offer in terms of money, and not other things that come with the relationship. I've dated white women, black women, Mexican women, I've even dated an Indian woman. Yes, all are different in a way, but most have one thing in common, and that's money. I give them gifts or I share or I give them money or I share them with gifts. But not none of them have the pleasure of relations or given me the satisfaction of pleasure. Well the Ebony chick almost tossed it up to me, but she said she had to call her sitter and she had to go home. Come to find out, weeks later, she didn't even have a kid. I later spoke with her about two weeks ago, and she had told me that she just found out that she was gay. Awkward. I was like WTF. But the funny thing is the guy she was with clearly clearly is her dude and introduced me as a valet guy. But get this. I seen her at a freaking McDonald's, and who in the hell does valet at a McDonald's? Nobody I know unless you're in an upscale part of town, but that's neither here nor there, because I don't get out much. But I let her ride because clearly she's not worth it. And after that, I decided to take a break. So two days later, I found a beautiful white woman. You took a break for two damn days, and you found a beautiful white woman.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, that's good. It's good.

SPEAKER_02:

Who I thought was a one for me, but it turns out she just wanted the bag. Then the bag in most cases means the money. She wanted the money. Again, we went on a few dates. I took her shopping in an upscale clothing store, Target and Macy's. If anybody thinks Target is upscale, you own something, but whatever, it is what it is. I spent about two grand. God damn, I guess you could spend that about Macy's. I can see, but Target, eh, maybe who knows. Anyways, Target is more of an upscaler uh retail store, upscale from Walmart, but Walmart is my upscale retail store. Anyways, I spent two grand, fast forward to the night in question, and I was like, WTF, not again. But her excuse was I'm on my monthly, so of course I didn't believe her, and I said, Let me see. That's kind of disgusting because if a woman tells me that she's on her monthly, I don't need to see any proof. I'm good. She got mad, stormed out, took everything I bought her with her, and I didn't see her till a month later, and that didn't go well. Let's just say I now have to go to court on a restraining order. Damn, Icon, I didn't even do anything wrong. I got mad, I lost my temper, but I would never hit a woman. That's a good thing. Needless to say, that I went to court and the restraining order got tossed. Thank God. I just wanted to find love. I want to be happy. So I've done what you've done. So, wait, I have done what you've done. Before writing this letter, I went on a site called Filipino Cupid. And let me say, I think it's like hitting the lottery. And it kind of seems overwhelming, I can tell you that. Once I registered, paid the monthly fee, the DMs was like women at an Usher concert. Yeah, I don't I've never been to an Usher concert, but I I take your word for it. I felt so alive. I started to feel better about myself again. I had so many to choose from. At one point, I started thinking that I was just a chosen one. Like and I and I feel how celebrity feels when he or she meets fans.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, I don't know. I don't know, but it's it's good, it's good, it's good.

SPEAKER_02:

I must have met and chatted over 20 women from the Philippines, and the DMs just keeps going. It's like scrolling on IG that doesn't stop. Yeah, that is true. So my question is for you because I like what I'm seeing, and I like, and I feel like there's some real connections, but I'm so elated on what to do and having to talk to my parents. And they said that I should just keep looking in the states, and it doesn't matter how long it takes as long as I find a woman in America. They said the Philippines women are not loyal. I beg a different, but whatever. Um, so I understand you dated a woman from the Philippines, and I wanted to know how that's working for you because next summer I'm going to Cebu to meet a few of them, and I've had the pleasure of chatting with. This is new for me, but it feels right. My mom has also turned me onto the site about women in the Philippines called Smart Girl Philippines. We'll get into that later. But I have to say, most of their content seems to talk down about the women uh there, like they're all bad, and that and I that I should look elsewhere. But I don't want to because the attention I'm getting, plus the ones that care are so genuine. So, in your experience, what is your advice to me? Because I want to be the best and I want to be a better version of me, and I'm honestly just so tired of being lonely. Signed MJ. So, this is a letter from MJ, who is clearly feeling the heat or the pressure of dating women in the US, and and I talk about in one of my um episodes that the reasons why I don't date American women, it doesn't matter um that you're a different ethnicity or ethnic culture. Doesn't matter if you're white, black, Asian, Mexican, whatever. If you were born here in America, uh to me, you have been somewhat Americanized by the culture and you have adapted to the culture because dating was nothing like what it was back in my day. Back in my day, you could approach a woman and they would give you the time of day and they would speak to you, and then they would probably say, let's, and then and you could probably ask them out on a date. Now, in today's culture and society, that somehow is just not like that. And I'm not saying there's a lot of bad women in the US, it is just hard to find a woman in the US. So, after my wife died, as I said before, I went through therapy. I my therapist was even telling me to I should get out and try to um date more, but I didn't I wasn't ready to date, so I just wanted friends. And like I said before, the women that I approached upon that, it was just not a good, it was just not good. You know, one lady I held the door open for, and I catch up, I didn't say anything to her, I just said that um have a good day. And she said, Well, I got a man. I said, Okay, I didn't say anything. I said, I got a man, okay. You got a man. I didn't even ask for anything. So on that part, I understand. I have gone on a date after maybe after my wife passed away, not right directly after, but and it just was not what I was looking for. You know, I am not a rich man, I am an average, um average male. I work two jobs, I take care of my kids, I love my kids, I love my family. Now, in today's society, the women that I have come across, and this is no shade towards any woman ever. I just feel that if I'm trying to provide you genuine or be genuine for you, I'm not trying to be something that I'm not because I'm not gonna be something I'm not. I'm not gonna try to have, I'm not gonna tell you that I can promise you this thing, but I do another. I'm not gonna show you the flash, and I'm not going to try to make you appease, uh, make you appeal to my better nature. So basically, I'm not gonna tell you that I can do all these stuff, I can do all this stuff for you, and I know I can't. So, what's the honorable thing I'm gonna do? I'm gonna simply be honest with you. I'm gonna be honest with you, I'm gonna tell you who I am, I'm gonna tell you what I do, and I think that's what gets lost in so much of dating in this new era or this new generation. It's so much shit going on. You have IG, you have everybody trying to be like get the likes and the follows. I don't give a damn about none of that. If people will listen to me, I'm just an average person, that's all I care about. I'm just average, I'm not something that I'm not. I don't try to go out there and flash and say, Oh yeah, I got two cars and I own this, I own that. No, you take me as I am. If I don't look good to you, I don't look good to you. If I don't have enough money for you, I don't have enough money for you. Don't you worry about it because somebody else will like it. With that being said, MJ, um, I did do some follow-up questions for MJ, and um I asked what he looked like. Now he did send a picture, which I do won't share. I don't ever share pictures or any kind of content um in reference to hold on there. I don't share any kind of contents in reference to my listeners because I don't want them to either be attacked or mocked or anything. So I look at the pictures for my own FYI. He's a white male, very handsome male, 5'9, average build, couple tats, but from what I can see, doesn't really seem like he's he's you know somebody that is not approachable, basically, so to speak. So um I asked what he does for a living, he's in retail management, he's been doing that for six years. Not sure why I asked this question, but I asked if he was a virgin, he said no, and I said how many times in his lifetime? 10 times. Not bad, no shade. I asked how old he was, he's 28 years old. I asked, What is the longest relationship that he has had? Um, he had a relationship when he was younger in middle school. The young lady that he dated was a childhood friend. Um, so he says roughly about eight years. So he's been with the same girl for about uh since he was in middle school, so probably a childhood friend. Nothing wrong with that, it's all good. And I said, What happened to the relationship? Uh she went to college, we tried to make it work, but eventually it didn't. She found someone else. That happens, sometimes it happens. Um, I'm not sure if he's from a small town or not because I didn't really ask that question. I asked him, was he a wealthy man? He says he's not rich, but he knows how to save money and he budgets very well. Okay, so the question I asked, why do you spend so much money on women if it's just the first date? Because I believe in treating a woman right and I want her to feel comfortable with me. Okay, let's stop right there for a minute before I get to the last one. That's fine. If you want somebody to feel comfortable with you, just be yourself. You don't need to start flashing the bag of flashing money. The purpose of the date is for you to get to know that person so you can guys can kind of connect on a level that maybe that is good for you both of you, maybe it's gonna see if it's going to work or if it's not gonna work. So that's the purpose of the date to sit down over a nice dinner, kind of talk things out, try to get to know each other on a level that you know might please you both. And if it's not there, it's not there. If it's there, it's there. So spending money, depending on and what I mean by money, I'm talking about the gifts, I'm not talking about dinner. I'm not saying that the man he should, he's not saying that he should have taken her out for uh McDonald's or Wendy's or Chick-fil-A. Hold on, Chick-fil-A is kind of good, you know. I don't really consider that cheap, but yeah, anyways. I consider if you're going on the first date at McDonald's, yeah, clearly have a problem. Why not go someplace that's intimate? So the last question that I asked Mr. MJ was do you hear back from any of the women that you interacted with? He said, Not really, but I did hear back from the woman that that tried to put a restraining order on me. She said that we could try again, but the catch was she wanted me to buy her some new items from MK. MK for people that don't know is Michael Coors. I didn't know that. I'm not a Michael Kors fan, I hear great things, whatever. I honestly don't know who that is, but she said I bought things from her before. Well, you probably did. I don't know. I've never been to Macy's before, and only set up new deliveries. Um, she also said that she would let me do things to her after I buy these items. As desperate as I am, I said hell no, and it was so hard to say that. So, MJ, kudos to you for not falling for the bait and switch, so to speak. Um this woman only seen you for what you can do for her and not what you can do with her. And what I mean by that is that you're just somebody that financially can probably take care of her, but she's not gonna be committed to you. And when I say she's not gonna be committed to you, I think if you would have got back with this woman and you would have thought things have been going good, and maybe who's to say, I'm not sure why she would barter for sex for materialistic things. I don't get that. If I have to pay you to have sex with you, it's not gonna work out for well for me because I'm not paying for sex now. Some people do that, I don't know what the catch is for me. Paying for sex is not is not what I do, it's like a business transaction. I mean, the basics like eating out. I mean, eating out, you're paying for something, and it's like it's already gone, so there's no kind of comfort. I don't get people who do that, but then again, I'm not gonna say I've never done it before because I haven't done it before. Now it's different if you're well, I can't really say it's different. Paying for a service and paying for sex are two different things, but in any event, let me get back on track with him. I'm glad you didn't do that. Um, that is a good thing. So I think what you should try to do, you have restrained yourself from I mean, she's basically willing to give it up to you. She's gonna give it up to you, so that's good. You didn't take it, but as desperate as I am, I probably would have took the bait. No, kidding. So we're also gonna touch on some things. There is a um, there's a site on IG, or not site, these women that are on IG that he refers to, um, they have a IG page, a YouTube page. It's called Smart Girls Filipinas. Now, basically what they do is that to me, I thought they it's kind of 50-50 with me. Some of the information is good, some of the information is bad. I don't know, it just depends on you as a person and what you're looking for. What they do is that they tell you about how to approach a woman in the Philippines and how you should um be leery of the things that they do in the Philippines, because let's be honest, a lot of people think that Filipinas are scammers. Now, that can go either way, that can go either here in the States or it can go for anywhere in the world. The choice is yours to do your homework and to do your due diligence, and to say that I want to try to vet this girl because I like this girl. But if you want to go into the relationship um eyes wide open, just start throwing money, then yes, you're probably gonna get scammed because I've never heard anybody in a relationship just as you're menacing within meeting somebody, you just throw money at them. That just shows them how easy you are, and that you could be manipulated now. And you can't be mad because listen, I've been to the Philippines before. I have it is the culture's good, the women are good. Um, it's just a lot of things you gotta look out for. Um, there's a lot of scam going on there, especially if you're from another country. If you don't know the game in the Philippines, I encourage you to quickly get acclimated to the game. Maybe watch some YouTube videos. But getting back to the Smart Girls Philippine, I don't know. I think it's three women. I know the leader. Uh well, the head woman, her name is I think it's Iris or Iris, I don't know, but I follow them and I really wish I could get them on the show. Maybe we can talk about things. But in any event, they put the women out there as if they're just bad women, like their culture is just full of just riddled with bad women. And to me personally, I don't know if somebody has hurt her or her friends in the past or whatever, because if you're a foreign man going to the Philippines, it is kind of like a free-for-all. If they see a foreign man, and the worst thing you could probably do is have your friends meet this man. Because while you think that you're only there to meet her, well, no, it's gonna be a competition because there's other women in play, and I'm not saying this happens all the time, but from nine times out of ten, this kind of does happen. Now, as I said before, women like this are everywhere, it's just that the Philippine women are much more uh family-oriented, they're much more humble, they're much more honest, depending on who you get. When I was on the site Filipino Cuban, yes, you do get hit with a lot and a lot of DMs, and you get hit immediately. And to men like me, that was a good thing because when I got on the site, I felt overwhelmed about it. I was like, Oh my god, this is really happening. But what I didn't do is that I didn't tell a woman how much money I made, I let the conversation start with them. If they started the conversation with me, and then we kind of talk it out, and we kind of go from there and we say, Well, um, this is who I am. I remember when I first went on the site and I was like, Oh my god, this is like overwhelming because you get so much and so many, and there's so many beautiful women in this country, and you don't think about the life that they have in the Philippines, and you are really want to know if these women are for you. I'm going to say 85% of the women in this country are for looking for someone that they really want to be with and that they really want to love. The other 15% is just there to see if he can get me this, he can get me that. Now, now they're not bad. Um, but the site, you have to do your own homework. You have to, you can't. I mean, you can listen to what they're saying, you can listen to what I'm saying. It's kind of a toss-up. You are a grown man, you have to make a decision on your own. Mr. MJ, I would encourage you if you do, when you do go to Cebu, when you go, be yourself, don't flash money. Um, look average, don't go over there trying to be the flashy guy or the life of the party. Because just as quickly as you get over there, you will find yourself spending money that you didn't think you had, and then you will be like, Oh my god, I spent all this over here. Yes, you do, because when you go to the Philippines, whoever you're trying to meet, they have family, depending on the family's living situation. And what I mean by that is if they are poor somewhere in between or in between, in between, or if they're higher up. Now, the Philippines is a beautiful country, it really is, but there is a high poverty rate when it comes to um, you know, they're not people that are rich in culture, sort of like uh the US or Canada or the United Kingdom, there is a lot of poverty, there's a lot of squatting over there. Now, that doesn't take away the fact that there are beautiful, smart, intelligent women there who are looking for love. They are looking for love and they're looking for their mate, somebody they can settle down with because the life that they have, it's not a good life. And I gotta be honest with you, if I lived in the Philippines and I wasn't that financially well off, I would be trying to do the same thing. I'm not saying that they're all there for a green card because when you meet somebody over there, um, it's genuine, it's real. Uh, the family throws this big celebration, they have leachon, leachon, which is apparently a pig, um, and that's their celebration. They have pasta, and that's another celebration. It turns out they don't eat pasta as frequent as Americans do, um, they only eat pasta as a celebration. Um, and leechon is a whole damn pig. I mean, they cook bad boy up, and he is served up, and he's served up beautifully, but that's their celebration. So when you go to um the Philippines Cebu, I've been to Manila and I've been to Makati. Um, both are really good. Um, I know this is your first time going over there. You are going to see some things that just look appealing to you, and what I mean by that, you are going to see a lot of beautiful women. Temptation is hard, but temptation is what you make of it. You can either choose to go there, meet with one or two women. I mean, there's other sites that you can do. I don't really know. I know there is a there's a site where they have like a group of men and you go to like it's sort of like a speed dating thing. I don't know if that's your thing. Speed dating to me wasn't to me, to me personally, if I want to meet somebody, I want to meet them on my terms. I don't want to go to a place with a group of guys, and then they sort of like you're picking me out as you're picking up groceries or fruit off a shelf or something. That's just not me. But when I went to the Philippines for the first time, um, I was like, oh my god, this is beautiful. It's definitely not America, um, it's definitely different, it's definitely an eye-opener because there are so many, so many, so many beautiful women there. And the sad thing is you don't know their background or their history until you get to know them. So I would encourage you to get to know these women. If you're going over there for sex tourism, I wouldn't recommend that, but uh, that's neither here nor there for me. So I didn't go over there for sex tourism. I went over there for one woman, I met one woman, and we had a great time. Um, I know that a lot of men think that sex tourism is is fun, it is not. Because not only are you having sex with this woman, but you're giving her the notion that she could be the one. And the sad thing is, if your intentions are to go over there to have sex with these women and she's not the one, then who's really going to be hurt here? Is it going to be you or them? Well, let's just say them. Because while you're over there getting everything off the damn buffet, well, this woman is like, I thought he was the one. So you can kind of distinguish and kind of figure out how that this would be beneficial to you, how this would be more detrimental to you, and how this can make you happy. Because keep in mind, I don't know how long you're staying in the Philippines, but I would just encourage you to read up on some notes, maybe check out some YouTube channels because what you see is really what it is. Um, I would also encourage you to um if you have cards, don't take cash. Uh, what I found out is that bank cards, or depending on your bank, works really well in the Philippines, it's so much easier, and because pickpocketing is real in the Philippines, let me tell you, it's real. All they gotta do is bump you, and you like, oh, it's okay, it's okay. But meanwhile, when you get to a place and you got cash, your cash is gone. It's gone. Now, when I was there in the Philippines and I was there with my young lady, um, I would only take out 10k at a time, and I know that to some of y'all, y'all think 10k 10,000 pesos is a lot, it's clearly not. That's about 150 US dollars. I think I spent the better part of two weeks. I think I spent around maybe 1500, and that's including that all the things that we did. We went to, I think it's uh Seashore by the Bay, we went to the Mall of Asia, uh, we went to some kind of festival, and we had a good time. Though things are kind of cheaper in the Philippines, but you will really spend money really quick if you're not careful. Keep in mind also. When you meet this woman, she may have somebody with her. That's fine, that's good. Keep in mind if you're gonna meet this person, they're gonna have somebody with them. You're not only gonna take care of her, but you're gonna take care of who's ever with her. Now, depending on her background, if she comes from poverty or squatters area, squatters area is just basically um they're poor. So, of course, for the two weeks that you're there, or however long you're there, they want to see the life that you can provide for them, but with the same understanding of the life that you can provide for them, they want to make sure that you can take care of their family. Now, this is what I did um when I went to go meet my girl. I can't take care of the whole family. If I'm with somebody, I'm only with you. I'm not um dating the whole family. Yes, I understand you want to bring gifts for the family, and I did just that. I brought gifts for the kids, I brought gifts for her sister. That was pretty much it. You have to know when to call it because though the temptation and the what's the word I'm looking for, and the comfort is there knowing that this woman loves you and that she wants to be with you. Well, you're also gonna have to deal with the family. Keep in mind, if you're there for two, I'm gonna say you're only there for two weeks. The two weeks are gonna be the best weeks, two weeks of their life, of her life, not their lives. Probably said that right, their lives. Because you're a man, you're a foreigner, you're coming from a foreign country where they think most men from different countries are rich, anyways. I'm black, I ain't rich. Okay, I worked two jobs, I made good money, and I only work the second job because my kids are getting older and they don't want to be around daddy anymore, so whatever. Yeah, that is what it is. Yeah, if you got kids, you know. But when I went there, um it's not the fact that I had to lay down ground rules, but I had to tell her that hey, I'm only here for you. Um, um, she's got two kids. I don't care about the kids. If you're a person that doesn't want kids or don't know how to deal with kids right now, completely fine. I'm not going to say most of the women over there are pregnant because you just don't know. My thing is, MJ, you need to do some notes when you go over there, though these women are just so beautiful and small, petite, or whatever, but it's possible they can have kids, and that's not a bad thing. Uh, what I've learned in the culture of the Philippines is that Jesus, um, the women had to provide more than the men do. Um, also, what I do want to point out to you. Don't talk politics in the Philippines. I don't know. Don't if they say since this last trip that I went to Makatai, the guy was a huge supporter of our president. I was not. I pretty much bashed our president, but you can't say anything about their president because that'll quickly get you thrown in jail as a foreigner. What I also learned is that oh crap, I just had that thought and I lost it. Oh, what I also learned is that make sure the women that you're messing with are not married. If they are married and the husband finds out, yo ass is going to jail. Even though they may not be together, well, his family could be like, oh, well, this guy, his foreigner came in and broke up our home, and the next thing you know, you sit in the Filipino jail trying to figure out what the hell I did. Make sure she's also of legal age. Okay. I know 18 is a big thing, and you know, they're younger and hotter, whatever. Not for me, it ain't. No, hell no. No. I don't date well, I don't date anybody um younger than 25. Um, 18, they're young. 18. Now, I'm not saying it as a bad thing because as I've seen time and time again, especially watching this damn show, 90 Day Fiance, where this guy um met this 19-year-old and he was down near 60, and I was like, What the hell is this? I'm not saying that it's bad because I gotta admit, they are much more mature women over there than they are in probably here and maybe in some other places that you mean. Again, no shade on women in the US. I'm just saying they're much more mature. If I had found the right woman over here, I probably wouldn't be in the Philippines, but I tried. I did one, two, three times, three strikes are out. I tried, so I know I may get criticism from it. I may people might be like, oh well, he didn't give it long enough. Trust me, I've been along around a long time, and what dating was back in the day is damn sure not what it is today. So I hope when you go over here, you have a phenomenal trip. Um, I'm not sure what your party life is like or what the the night the night scene life is like, but I didn't go to any of the nightlife. Um, it is very temptation of the nightlife depending in Cebu Cebu has some of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. But then again, that's all part of Philippines. You have to understand they are a one-culture country, and what I mean by one culture country is that they're not diverse as the UK or the United States or Canada. When you go to some of these countries that are just one culture, meaning that it's just their culture and their people there, it's different for them. You know, seeing a foreigner is like seeing a celebrity. You know, I remember I went over there and I had my jersey, my Mahomes jersey on. They're like, Oh, Patrick Mahomes, Taylor Swift. I don't know him, but I hear good things. I don't know any of these people. But when I went over there, I was treated with respect, decency. Um, almost got in trouble for vaping outside uh the room, the hotel, um, the condo that we were staying at, because apparently you can't vape in some areas and you can't smoke, and they'll surely tell you about it. But they give you a pass because you're foreigner and they know you're a foreigner. So, um if you're going alone, do your due diligence, do your homework. Your parents are going to be your parents. They probably want what's better for you because they don't understand that finding love is hard in this day and age. I'm not sure how long your parents have been together. Sounds like they've been together for a while, but finding love in this day and age is a hard thing to do. It is really hard. So if you have to go to another culture, another country, and visit another woman, then hey, that's what you gotta do. I mean, you tried. You know, the sad thing is women in the US are when I found when I was telling people that I met somebody in the Philippines, you know, I immediately got flagged, oh, you can't find somebody here, or the women over here ain't better enough. And why is that? You don't want me, so why are you coming down on me? You don't want me, so you can't be you can't be mad at me for trying to find my happiness. That's what I understand about this. With so much interracial uh relationships, I don't understand when a woman gets mad at a man for seeing them with a different woman of a different race. I don't get it. You don't want me. I tried everything in my power to be with you, but you don't want me. So I'm not gonna make you love me, I'm not gonna pay for you to love me. You either take me as I am or you don't take me at all. So, MJ, I understand your pain. I do, I get where you're coming from. I think that you have to decide what's gonna work best for you. You have to be happy in what you want to be happy with. Again, don't take a lot of cash over there, don't flash, whatever, whatever you're wherever room you're staying at. If you decide to bring a female back to your room, please, these places provide safe, lock everything up. I was hoping that you would tell me that you met somebody that you're going to um try to talk to them and get with this one person, but I understand you gotta kind of test the waters, you gotta kind of see which one is better for you. I get that. But there was a guy on YouTube that did the exact thing um that you did. It was his first time over there. He went over there um with eyes wide open, didn't think didn't blink or do a second thought. He met one woman. Um I think he stayed with her for a couple days. It didn't work because she wanted money. He met another woman. Um, that didn't work because he ran out of money. Uh well he the second woman wanted more money and was trying to get him to take care of the family, so that didn't work. The third woman that he met, uh, young lady, I think she was either 19 or 20. Well, she kind of lied. She said that she didn't have any kids. Turns out she had a daughter. But by that point in time, um, he had gotten this young girl pregnant. Uh, the young girl came up pregnant, not with one, but she came up pregnant with two. I kid you not. They did it before and after with this guy. He went over there looking healthy, and when he left there, it looked like he was damn near had one foot in the grave and one foot out. I was like, oh my god, what the hell? He had gotten himself so stressed out, so stressed out for what you don't go over there trying to flaunt money because yes, women are gonna flock to money over there because they see you as an opportunity to get out of the life that they're in now. So, I'm not saying that is bad for all women in the Philippines. Hell, you have that here in the states, so it doesn't matter where you go, what matters is that you do your homework and you try to get to know the woman to understand her and try to figure out if she's gonna be the right one for you. So, when you go over there, I hope that when you go over there, you are just diligent in your understanding of the culture, the women, and what these women want. Now, if you're going to meet some of these women's families, um man, I would really challenge you to just try to meet one and try to go from there. But you're gonna be overwhelmed. I hope when you go over there, you're gonna not gonna be too overwhelmed. But if you don't have this notion of a plan that and set some limits for yourself, you're gonna come back broke. So at best, oh, let's see. The first time I went, I think I took about 3,000 US dollars, only ended up spending half of that. So you don't have to go over there and just basically put out for anybody that you come across. You don't have to. So there's going to be a lot of temptation. If the lady the women that you meet have siblings and they're older siblings, keep in mind when one walks away, the other one's gonna try to shoot their shot. And that's the hard thing about it. Because everybody wants to get out, everybody, and it's it's sad because they're such a beautiful people, but the country itself is just riddled with corruption, chaos, and well, not really chaos, but just corruption. Um, and I think you have that everywhere you go, but you don't really see it until you go to a place like the Philippines. Um, this is the only place where I've actually been where I've seen people drinking street water, or I've seen a homeless mother sleeping on the sidewalk with her baby on a cardboard. It's that real. And I know you guys think, well, what did you do? What did what I did? I gave her some money, I bought her some Jolly V. Turns out Jolly V is like their McDonald's over there. It's good. Um, you get rice with everything, you pretty much get it. I mean, they got pretty much everything we have, but the food portions and the food rations are different than what it is here, probably in the US and what other countries that you come across, because their food is not grown with hormones, not like here. Um I would just encourage you to man. I would just encourage you to do some homework before you leave. You didn't really give me a departure date, but it's fine. You said next year. Um, if you want to keep listening to the women on Smart Girl Filipinas, it's fine. I'm not telling you, not deterring you from that. I just say do your homework. I have nothing against these women, but then again, I think they're speaking maybe 50-50 of half-truth and have just blatantly being just wow, just bad towards their women. But then again, we do that here. So I personally don't, because there's not a woman that I'd like to call out to say, well, she's bad or she's this, that, and the other. I don't. I've had some relationships that after my wife died, well, not really relationships, I've had some experiences that didn't work out too well for me after my wife died, and I just choose to go a different way. Now, um, that's not to say that I don't come across good women, but it's always hard to find a good one. And the women that you find here in the US, when you find them, you're thinking that, oh my god, this could be the one, or and then you find out she's with somebody who's like basically doing her like wrong in every possible way. And I'm like, what the hell? What the hell is this? So, and then you want to try to be a friend and try to without overstepping any boundaries or without being what do they call that, a third reel, or trying to break up a happy home, or in this case, sometimes a home ain't happy. Oh, but MJ, I think your heart is in the right space. I think it's in the right place. I think that you need to just take it slow. Um, you're going over there, you're gonna have a good time. My advice to you again do your homework, set some limits for yourself. Try to figure out what it is that you want. You're overwhelmed. I'm pretty sure if you have talked to many women on this site that you have been telling a lot of women, well, I'm gonna be here, or I'm gonna be there, I'm gonna be this place. Come see me, or where I can come see you. It sounds like to me you're gonna have a busy schedule, but before you make your way to Cebu, I would probably limit that circle. Um, I would limit that circle to maybe about shit. I would probably say about maybe four, maybe five. I don't know. I just don't know how long you're gonna be there. I would simply just probably limit it to probably two. Um the the the bad thing is that they all have a story, and majority, nine times out of ten, that story is actually real. Um, I've met a woman before in the Philippines that was kind of deceitful. Um, that she said, Well, oh well, I love you. And then here's the other thing: if you meet a woman and she's automatically talking about green card and marriage, red flag, red freaking flag, because that's just telling you that oh, she's there to get out. Because here's here's a funny thing. I'm gonna share a story with you. When I met uh first Filipino on the site, um I thought she was genuine, and I think by maybe the fifth or sixth conversation, we were already talking about green card and marriage, but only to find out that when you get these females' numbers, that's the bad thing about these damn phones and the algorithms. Well, on Facebook, um, this was a friend suggestion. I was like, Wait, this chick looked familiar, and I thought for a minute, no, she couldn't be the one, but it sure enough, it was the same chick that I was talking to. But the chick had another guy on the on her page, and she was talking to him, and was like, Well, I can't wait to come to the US so I can meet you. I don't know how true that was because the post is very recent. So, while it's kind of hard to try to fathom if these women are real or not, I think these women are doing uh I don't want to say it in a bad way, but they're also kind of testing their waters to see who's real and who's not. Um, I would suggest if you don't have kids, don't go over there and try to get a girl pregnant, or not try, but use protection because it sounds like to me you're gonna be you're gonna be a lot overwhelmed. Very overwhelmed. So, and I wasn't even mad at the fact that this woman did this to me, I was just more hurt because I had a lot to learn about online dating and dating internationally. Yes, you can't always see the one you're with. Now you're probably gonna say, Well, what makes this woman different? Uh, and how can you trust her? Okay, well, I can trust her because we talk on a daily basis. Number one, number two, um, when I first went there, um, or when I first started talking, she was honest about everything. There are some things that I found out along the way that I thought was a little bit kind of deceiving, but then again, I was like, okay, well, and then her willingness to contact me every day. And then the crazy thing is she never asked for a single damn dime of my money, didn't ask for a single dime. And the woman that I met um was staying in Squattersville. Again, Squattersville is just basically a homeless camp that are built up by um um they take over, it's not really a takeover, but they settle on property. Um, they have cardboard shacks and a room that's probably no bigger than a bathroom. But we talked and we shared some things, and she said some things, and then when I went over there to go meet her, it's like the best thing ever. And then after I left, we still kept that same energy going, you know. I fell in love with her, I fell hard in love with her. And sure, there's like a million other women that in my DMs. I mean, the minute I met this young lady, I stayed on Filipino cube for probably maybe about a week or two, and then I was like, you know what? I think she's the one. She had two kids, very beautiful, very humble. Um, she's always looking for work. Now, here's the other sad thing. They tell you they're looking for work, that's because they are, but the Philippines is not like the US. There, their dropout rate in school is way more higher than what we have here. You have them dropping out probably after elementary, and that's because they have to pay for everything under the damn sun. You have to pay for water, you have to pay for uh uh schooling, school lunch. There's no transportation, you gotta pay for transportation, you gotta pay for uniform, you gotta pay for exams, you gotta pay for them to take tests. In all my years on this world, and like I said, this is my first time going to the Philippines. Never heard of it, never heard of it. And I'm like, damn, y'all pay for everything. You can't even drink the water over there. So when you go over there, keep an open mind. Um, if somebody does you dirty, don't get an attitude, don't go ham. You sound like you don't have a temper, you sound like you're kind of laid back, like I am. That's a good thing. Keep being laid back. Um, don't get into any fights over there. If somebody does you wrong, please, for your sake, just walk the hell away. Walk away again. Make sure she's not married, make sure she's not seeing anybody. These are questions that you need to ask up front. Um when you ask these questions, if they say I don't know, because like I said, some of the stuff that these women say on Smart Girl Filipinas are is actually true. If they say that they have an uncle, or I don't know. I don't know how to explain it, but the fact of the matter is you gotta be Leary. And the crazy thing is there's there's way more women, way more men and women over there than men, like a lot of women, and that's the sad thing because the men over there aren't really worth a damn. I mean, I know we have those problems, these problems here, but we have course for shit like that. But over there, it's so different, man. It's different. And the wires that you see on YouTube, that shit really is like that. It's like that. So as we get ready to wrap this show up, um, Mr. MJ, man. I want to follow up. I definitely want to follow up. So I hope that this podcast finds you well. I hope that you take what I'm saying into consideration. I am not always right 100% of the time, these are just my experiences when I went over there. So they're my experiences, and this is what I went what I went through. And my experiences were good, you know, because while I was there and we went to I don't know what let me see if I can find out what this thing called. C shore, assume, assume I don't know what it is. Some SC, I don't know, C shore, I don't know. Let me hold on, see if I can find it. Okay, hold on. Excuse me. No, this isn't it. It's not dreamplay, but we went to Hang on, I'm getting it. Okay, so this No, it wasn't that one. Star City. You know what? I can't for the life of me can't find this damn thing. Even though I went there. Uh oh, hold on. Because we gotta get ready right to show up. Uh so it's I guess it's just oh, seaside. Oh. So it is the SM Mall of Asia. So we went there, of course, they had like a theme park and a whole bunch of other stuff. It's called It was a Beautiful Place. So um, we went there, we had a good time, but as I said, and I was there, and while I was there, there was a young lady that came up to me, and she was selling like like candy bars, and she's like, I need money for studies. Can you buy a candy bar? So, and then the other thing is, oh my god, this was so freaking ridiculous. The child, uh, we was in the in the taxi, and a kid was washing the window, like took a rag and just washed the window, and then my girl was like, hand him this, and we gave him some change because I was like, Oh my god, this shit really happens here. I mean, this would be frowned on in in our country. She's like, Babe, really, yes, hell yeah, kid out here. I mean, these are like little kids, like seven or eight washing car windows. I mean, the traffic there is ridiculous. It's like the Indy 500 on acid, but oh my god. In any event, I enjoyed my time with the Philippines. I enjoyed my time with the people, the culture, the food. The food was good. Um, of course, they eat a lot of ramen noodles, which is called pen panchet, panchet noodles, but hey, whatever, it's good. Um, it was good. So I'll do a follow-up show to my um second trip in the Philippines, which I had a really good time. The flight, I'm not sure where you're coming from, but it's a 14-hour flight from where I'm at. Um, but it was good. So, MJ, I hope this podcast finds you well. I hope that you go to and have fun. I hope that you don't do anything stupid or silly that's gonna get you locked up abroad because I don't know, uh, you are white, so the government might take pity on you and be like, Yeah, we need him back. I'm kidding, I'm joking. But as I said, my friend, um, I hope this finds you well. And for those of my listeners, if you're tuned in, listening, watching me, you have questions, concerns, comment, please feel free to email me at d6mpire357 at gmail.com. I am on buzzfrouts uh.com. The show is called uh the D6 Empire The Family. I am also on IG, TikTok, I am icon, and you can find me and follow me there. I don't know how well I can post the links on this site here, Buzzcast, because I thought Buzzcast and Buzzrouts were the same people. Clearly, they are not, but hey, whatever. In any event, I want to thank all my listeners for uh listening. I want to thank the supporters that supporting me and that you're coming through with the letters because let's be honest, I only do this because I like doing it, it's fun. I don't talk about celebrity things, I don't talk about politics because it's not me. I'm an average person like you, and I'm just here just to maybe I can make somebody's life better. And if you like the content, you like it. If you don't, you don't. It's up to you. But I welcome all kinds of forms of criticism, compliments, whatever. Um, episodes drop every Wednesday. Um, so if you want to follow me again, my podcast is streaming anywhere you listen to podcasts: Amazon, Spotify, iTunes, uh, FM Podcasts, Ditzler, whatever. Any place you could stream. I'm also globally internationally known. No, I'm just joking. But in any event, MJ, we're gonna get ready to get out of here. Thanks for the letter. Appreciate the letter. Hope this uh helps you on your way and your journey. But as I encourage you to do, I would encourage you to get on YouTube, look at some videos, some up-to-date videos, maybe of this year or a year, and just try to figure out what's gonna be good for you. So, if this is your first experience going to the Philippines, I wish you well, I wish you nothing but the best. I hope you find your happiness, I hope you find your peace, I hope everything is going to be good for you. So, until next time, my friends, you guys take care of yourself and each other. But for right now, we got one more track called Witness by T Cleaf, and we're just gonna groove with that as we get ready to take the show out. Until next time, guys, take care of yourself and each other.